Dr. Nachash Naga’s Nightmare

September 3, 2022 at 10:59 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Politics, Science, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

NASA administrator Dr. Nachash Naga hit the roof when the launch of Artemis 1 was scrapped yet again.

As his secretary Deborah called for someone to repair the roof, Dr. Nachash Naga threw his model of the Artemis 1 rocket across the room breaking it into a million piecea.

“What went wrong?” Dr. Nachash Naga demanded to know.

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster adjusted his lobster antennae in his lobster tank at Set Enterprises in London, England in order to pick up the best imagery and audio of what he was seeing.

Michelangelo still wasn’t sure whether this was a vision or a dream.

“Well,” Nimrod the little green frog who was now serving as a special advisor to NASA (having built the Tower of Babel in man’s first attempt to reach the heavens before he wound up in a UFO crash and was later turned into a little green frog by Lilith the ancient Babylonian vampiress) spoke, “We thought we had a deal with the Greek goddess Artemis after Joe sacrificed one of his unknown daughters to her in Philadelphia before he gave his Nazi Fascist Fuhrer speech in Philadelphia that same night.”

“So what happened to that deal?” Dr. Nachash Naga sucked the life out of an apple.

“Well last night,” Nimrod explained, “someone posted a video on YouTube of senile old Joe shooting and killing a second deer sacred to Artemis last fall. Artemis saw the video and posted a comment, “I am so absolutely furious right now. The winds that stopped King Agamemnon’s fleet from sailing towards Troy are even now sucking the hydrogen out of the Atlas 1 moon rocket as we speak.” And sure enough today’s launch was postponed as a result of a hydrogen leak.”

“Bugger,” Dr. Nachash Naga swore.

“I’m sorry, I don’t do that anymore,” the ghost of Oscar Wilde said as he appeared, “I don’t know what joker in the realm of Hades sent me here as soon as you spoke that noun. I had to spend several years in Purgatory as a result of doing that in my own lifetime. As the people who are joyfully participating in tomorrow’s Sodomite Pride Parade in Calgary will discover when they cast off this earthly coil. They’ll be spending a lot of time in Purgatory. That is if they aren’t sent directly to Tartarus.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday September 3rd
2022.

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24 Comments

  1. Hyperion said,

    I think I just learned something about Orson Welles I didn’t know. He was a bugger. When Shakespeare said, “ a pox upon ye buggers,” and Othello’s Irish house lady was beating the dust out of his chimpanzee rug, no one knew that monkey pox would indeed be upon those who practiced the dark art of buggery.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      That was Oscar Wilde not Orson Welles mentioned above.

      Orson Welles I gather from reading his bio was most intently heterosexual.

      • Hyperion said,

        Thank the Gods of Assyria! I was thinking Oscar Wilde for his imprisonment due to buggery but my fingers typed Orson Welles. Clearly an attempt by the ghost of Oscar Wilde to divert attention from himself.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, Oscar Wilde always was a sneaky little bugger as Lord Alfred Douglas the son of the 9th Marquess of Queensberry quickly discovered.

      • Hyperion said,

        Can you imagine the buggery brouhaha if this occurred today?

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        The sad part, Daniel, is there would be no brouhaha over this buggery today.

        It would be praised and hailed by CNN, NBC, ABC, MSNBC, PBS, The Washington Post, The New York Times and the Vatican Press Office as the “greatest love story of all time”.

        Oprah Winfrey would stop obsessing over the castrating harpy Megan Markle and her thoroughly emasculated husband Prince Harry and have a constant series of televised interviews with Wilde and Douglas discussing their relationship.

        Stephen Colbert, in an attempt to make sure that his late night talk show isn’t as boring as a Phil Huston short stort, will invite Wilde and Douglas on to the show to engage in a bisexual threesome and ménage a trois with AOC in an effort to boost his show’s ratings.

      • Hyperion said,

        And of course, Hollywood would see the dollar signs and we’d have the movie out in 3 months. Kindergartens across the US would livestream the movie to recruit more 5 year old children to become transgendered. It would be a tsunami of shame.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Tsunami of Shame.

        That would be a great title for a new Bob Dylan song.

    • ebonyandcrows said,

      Fascinating how things come full circle.

      • Hyperion said,

        Hi Larisa. Yes! This is one of a bazillion examples of Chris and I staying in character with our politically incorrect humor and satire of current geopolitical and sociological events. We enjoy it but some folks that don’t know us well could be shocked. 🫣😲😳😡😂

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        We’re going extra crazy these days, Larisa, because we were kept in line by our 3rd Blogoteer (out of this group known as the 3 Blogoteers) Sherry but seeing as how she lives in Germany – where they are implementing AOC approved Green energy policies that are bankrupting the country and destroying the national energy infrastructure and making them more dependent on Russian oil and gas than ever- the future that Joe Biden envisions for the U.S.- she is forced to work several different jobs now and has not much time to blog.
        Therefore we are going totally overboard with our craziness.

      • Hyperion said,

        Yes, sadly, our adult supervision is lacking. 😁😁

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes it is.

      • ebonyandcrows said,

        Haha no I find it refreshing 😅

      • Hyperion said,

        Awesome, jump right in feet first anytime you feel like it. 😁

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Larisa, it is.

        And now the Spirit Great Grandmother of the West (called Spider Grandmother by the Hopi, Navajo, Apache and Pueblo peoples, Our Grandmother The Nocturnal Physician of the Bath by the Aztecs and Ixchel by the Mayas) leader of the Circle of Spirits (invoked in Quebec City by a Manitoba Huron First Nations shaman at Pope Francis’ request) is about to bring everything full circle here in the Americas.

      • ebonyandcrows said,

        That sounds ominous 😦

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        It does. 🙁

  2. David Redpath said,

    Bob Dylan must’ve seen this episode coming, but he’s no psychic lobster …

    “Man thinks ’cause he rules the earth
    he can do with it as he please
    and if things don’t change soon, he will
    Oh, man has invented his doom
    First step was touching the moon
    Now, there’s a woman on my block
    She just sit there as the night grows still
    She say who gonna take away his license to kill?”
    ~ Bob Dylan

  3. Jessica said,

    I love how you put the twist on this story. My husband is very frustrated of all the cancellation because he’s been waiting. Funny how your prediction came true haha 😀

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, it is funny how my prediction came true. 😀

      • Jessica said,

        Yes, I keep telling that to my husband too 😂

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I wonder if the next launch which I believe is set for September 20th will be scrubbed as well? 🤔

        I suppose it all depends on how many deer sacred to Artemis that Joe Biden killed on his hunting trip last fall.

        If he killed a third deer, the next launch might be a no-go as well.

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