Carson Cody Albion and The Deadliest of Spies

April 20, 2022 at 10:04 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Espionage, International Intrigue, News, Science, Sorcery, Spy Tales, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Carson Cody Albion Private Eye had been asked to trail and follow a female Russian spy- an assignment he was very much enjoying

It was the spring of 1957.

And Carson Cody Albion Private Eye was walking the sidewalks of Los Angeles.

He had been hired to tail a female Russian spy.

It was a tail he was very much enjoying.

Suddenly Albion was accosted by a store detective who had noticed that the private eye was following the woman.

“What are you?” The store detective got up close into Albion’s face, “Some sort of pervert?”.

“No, I’m not a Hollywood producer,” Albion decked the man with his fists and knocked him out cold.

He had lost track of the woman.

A gentle breeze at that moment carried with it a whiff of the woman’s sensuous perfume.

Albion was back on track.

The woman entered an apartment building.

Albion recognized the building.

Janos Korda a Hungarian physicist who had fled his homeland after the failed 1956 uprising against Communist rule the year before lived there.

Korda had found a job working at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena.

One of the founders of the Jet Propulsion Laboratory was rocket engineer Jack Parsons.

Jack Parsons had been back in the 1940s a disciple of English occultist Aleister Crowley.

In early 1946 Parsons and science-fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard who was also a disciple of Crowley (Hubbard would later go on to found the Church of Scientology) worked on a series of magic rituals that they called the Babalon Working.

The rituals invoked the spirit of the Whore of Babylon.

Also called Babalon.

Crowley and the two men claimed they succeeded.

Parsons was killed in a home laboratory explosion in 1952.

Although police felt that the 37-year-old Parsons’ death was an accident, other associates suspected it was suicide or murder.

When Korda had arrived to work at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory, the fluent English language speaker Korda had been given a notebook of Parsons to read and analyze.

The notes consisted of Thelemite meditation techniques (Thelema had been the name of the religion founded by Aleister Crowley).

While meditating Korda came in contact with an entity calling itself Aiwass (the same entity that Crowley claimed to have once contacted and later sketched. The entity resembles an ET alien gray).

Aiwass gave Korda the plans for a new type of rocket.

Korda was so impressed with Aiwass’ plans that he wrote rocket engineer Wernher von Braun about it.

Unfortuntately Janos Korda’s letter to von Braun was intercepted by a Communist in the U.S. Post Office (Unfortunately Wisconsin Sen. Joe McCarthy had neglected to look for Communists in the U.S. Post Office).

The letter found its way to Soviet KGB headquarters in Moscow.

And thus the beautiful and lovely Alexandra Murthanoccasio Popovitch was dispatched to Los Angeles to seduce Janos Korda.

She got into his apartment.

She got into his arms.

And she got into his notebook (in which he had detailed Aiwass’ plans for rocketry and missiles).

Once the notebook was in her left hand, she shot him dead with her right hand.

Carson Cody Albion, who had stopped to buy himself a Coke from the apartment building’s Coke machine, thought that perhaps he shouldn’t have stopped to buy himself a Coke as soon as he heard the gun shots.

He tried to finish his bottle of Coke as quickly as he could and then ran upstairs.

When he entered the apartment, Janos Korda was lying dead on the floor and Korda’s pet budgie was saying, “The horror. The horror.”

“Excuse me,” Albion asked the budgie, “But are you saying “The horror. The horror.” ? Or “The whore. The whore.”? Because there is a difference you know.”

Meanwhile the lovely and beautiful Alexandra Murthanoccasio Popovitch was already fleeing down the fire escape.

A group of Grade 7 boys from a nearby private boys’ school were already looking straight up the fire escape at the tight skirted dress lovely female spy’s descent.

Their Art Appreciation teacher (who was a woman) who had been escorting them on a walk to a nearby art gallery suddenly broke into a lecture on the dangers of blindness (or even jail!) if one engaged in a certain physical activity (particularly in public).

As for the notebook, it returned safely to Moscow along with the lovely and beautiful Alexandra Murthanoccasio Popovitch.

Aiwass’ plans for the rocket were successful.

The USSR launched the Sputnik 1 satellite a few months later.

As for Aiwass’ missile, that took a little longer to develop.

Until Wednesday April 20th 2022.

When Russian President Vladimir Putin announced the launch of a new intercontinental ballistic missile.

As he warned the West not to keep threatening Russia’s security in the Ukraine War.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday April 20th
2022.

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Pan Goatee Beheads Brainless Uglo While Matthew Fox Is In The Running To Become The Next Unholy Grand Inquisitor

April 14, 2022 at 10:59 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Krampus The Demon much prefers Christmas to April snowstorms

It was April.

And there was a huge snowstorm happening.

So much for global warming.

Former U.S. Vice-President Al Gore found himself buried under 6 feet of snow.

And as far as the snow clearing crews were concerned, Gore could remain buried.

While much of North America found itself buried under feet of white, the Oval Office in the White House found itself buried under feet of brown.

“My Depends runneth over,” senile old Joe whined.

Today was also the 110th Anniversary of the night the Titanic struck an iceburg.

Ukraine marked the anniversary by sinking the pride and flagship of the Russian Navy’s Black Sea fleet the guided-missile cruiser Moskva.

Meanwhile the charismatic genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was riding a bus.

His stomach started to churn when a repulsive uglo got on the bus.

However unlike many uglos, she went and sat at the back of the bus so Goatee wouldn’t have to look at her repulsive ugly face.

Later Goatee went to a office to get some paper work done and faxes sent.

He was out walking when the same repulsive uglo he had seen on the bus earlier was now walking straight towards him.

“What? Seeing your stupid ugly face twice in the same day? I’m making sure it doesn’t happen again,” Goatee beheaded the repulsive uglo and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

Krampus the demon arrived being pulled in a one horse open sleigh through the blinding snowstorm.

“It’s almost Easter and it’s starting to look a lot like Christmas,” Krampus observed.

Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Peter Cottontail (hopping down the bunny trail) collided on the icy snowy streets.

. . .

Meanwhile at the Vatican in Rome, satanic AntiPope Francis, as he had done on the island of Malta, was directing that all Crosses and Crucifixes be taken down so as not to offend Muslims.

Meanwhile on loudspeakers parked outside the Vatican, the voice of British MP Renfield R. Renfield could be heard reading aloud Canto 28 of Dante’s Inferno.

And Pope Francis was telling an aide that he was thinking of appointing the New Age astrology believing and witchcraft practicing Episcopalian priest Father Matthew Fox (who had been a Dominican priest until he had been investigated for his whacko beliefs by Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger the future Pope Benedict XVI) to be the new head of the Congregation For The Doctrine of the Faith.

It would be the new Unholy Grand Inquistor’s job to enforce the syncretistic beliefs of Jorge Mario Bergoglio’s new Church to be called Mystery Babylon The Mother of Harlots.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday April 14th
2022.

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Pan Goatee Beheads More Uglos While Arnold Schwarzenegger Meets His End In Michelangelo’s Vision

April 12, 2022 at 9:56 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Krampus the demon dreams of beheading the demon Baphomet in a boxing ring

Following a boxing match in which his favourite boxer the living dead zombie boxer Gordon the Black Donnelly (of the infamous Black Donnelly clan of 19th Century Lucan Ontario) wins the Heavyweight Boxing Championship of the World, Krampus then stepped into the ring and beheaded the transgendered demon goat human freak Baphomet (who along with the demons Baal and Moloch was one of the patron demons of the U.S. Democratic Party).

Krampus then woke up.

It had all been a dream (and Baphomet’s nightmare).

His alarm went off.

His friend the genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee must have just beheaded and dismembered another uglo.

Pan Goatee was in downtown Calgary when he saw a really repulsive looking fat ugly blimp step on to a down escalator.

“You ugly looking spawn of the freak Baphomet and the Big Bang’s pompous pseudointellectual Sheldon Cooper’s fat ugly blimp of a girlfriend and later wife,” Goatee raised his astral laser machete, “you’re really going down.”

The satyr threw his machete in boomerang fashion.

The machete beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

The ugly looking spawn of the freak Baphomet and the Big Bang’s pompous pseudointellectual Sheldon Cooper’s fat ugly blimp of a girlfriend and later wife was now dead.

Krampus arrived to pick up the remains.

Later Pan Goatee caught the bus home.

A repulsive thin ugly looking stoat and her moronic girlfriend came and sat down across from the satyr.

Goatee immediately beheaded the thin ugly stoat and cut her up into 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x ad infinitum etc. etc. pieces.

The great Irish-Jewish American science-fiction writer George Finneganburg was trying to use an ancient Chinese abacus to keep track of the pieces.

“I wish I had the world famous cellist Tina Guo beside me helping me keep track,” Finneganburg sighed.

The world famous cellist Tino Guo sat down beside him in her sexy metallic leather mini dress.

“Maybe there really is a God,” Finneganburg was starting to reconsider his atheistic inclinations.

. . .

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was having a vision (or was it a dream) of various bozos getting their panties in a knot because of a sixth wave of Covid-19 (what generations prior to 2019 had called the common cold/flu).

One of those bozos getting his panties in a knot was former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger.

“I can’t get into my panties,” the former bodybuilder complained to his pet goat.

He then made a video calling for compulsory lockdowns, compulsory masking and compulsory DeathVaxx vaccinations for everyone.

He then ended his video by telling American citizens and citizens of the world to “Screw your freedom.”

No sooner had the video ended than Schwarzenegger found his house invaded by British MP Renfield R. Renfield and his personal British Army brigade of Gurkhas.

Said Renfield, “Now that you’ve stepped into your father’s shoes, we found your dad’s old World War II Army uniform.”

The Gurkhas then fitted the ex-husband of Maria Shriver (and current husband of the former California governor’s pet goat) into his dad’s Austrian SS Army uniform.

Once he was in the uniform, a rope was put around Schwarzenegger’s neck and the rope was pulled to the ceiling while Schwarzenegger had his dad’s shoes (that he was wearing on his feet) placed atop a very tall stool.

The stool had a sign attached to it that said KICK ME.

“By the way,” Renfield smiled, “you won’t be back.”

The British MP then kicked the stool.

The Ex-Terminator was now exterminated.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday April 12th
2022.

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Ghost of Orson Welles Dreams He’s Directing Marilyn Monroe In Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice

April 6, 2022 at 10:01 pm (Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Movies, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Marilyn Monroe appeared in Orson Welles’ dream this evening

The ghost of Orson Welles was fast asleep in his favourite armchair in the living room of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal West London mansion.

Earlier this evening Orson Welles had been giving British MP Renfield R. Renfield advice on how to respond to last week’s World Government Summit in Dubai.

At the World Government Summit, World Economic Forum Chairman Klaus Schwab called for One World Government to be implemented immediately.

Also at the World Government Summit in Dubai last week, economist Dr. Pippa Malmgren, who served as Special Economic Policy advisor to America’s scumbag Neo-Conservative President George W. Bush, called for a global Digital Currency.

Under her plan all forms of cash would be scrapped to be replaced by a global digital currency administered by a One World Government.

Back in Canada the moronic Neo-Stalinist tyrant Justin Trudeau said that any talk of an impending world government was just a conspiracy theory.

Castro’s low-IQ Canadian son was immediately hit in the face with a poison mushroom cream pie thrown by the invisible 6 foot 8 tall Welsh pooka purple bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger.

On behalf of Renfield, the ghost of Orson Welles directed a commercial warning of the dangers of a One World Government and a global Digital Currency.

In the commercial Orson had the ghost of Charles Laughton playing a high-tech digital age Roman Emperor Caligula arguing on the need for a global Digital Currency.

Laughton played an insane power mad Caligula perfectly.

As Caligula had the rear end of his horse marched into the chambers of the U.S. Senate to take his seat, the chief priest of the Galli (the eunuch transgendered priests of the cult of the goddess Cybele in ancient Rome) named Jorgaius Marius Bergoglius Franciscus (who was played by the ghost of Truman Capote) called on the need for everyone to accept the Digital Currency.

Jorgaius Marius Bergoglios Franciscus screamed his head off as the Commander of the Praetorian Guard (played by the ghost of Vincent Price) burnt a mark into the forehead and right hand of the transgendered priest prelate.

“You now have the Digital Currency mark,” the Praetorian Guard Commander smiled, “Darkness falls across the land, the midnight hour is close at hand…”

Orson Welles was now dreaming of directing Marilyn Monroe in his own film adaptation of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice.

Marilyn Monroe playing Elizabeth Bennett waits on the bottom stairs for Mr. Darcy to show up.

But who was playing Mr. Darcy?

Welles woke up at that point.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday April 6th
2022.

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Thanks To Pan Goatee, Another Fat Ugly Blimp and Her Moronic Boyfriend Bite The Dust

February 28, 2022 at 10:20 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

World famous genetically created satyr Pan Goatee poses for a selfie with a huge fan this past weekend

You’d think after last week’s three days of serial killing sprees that fat ugly blimps and their moronic boyfriends would finally learn to stay out of the limelight (or any other light for that matter) but seeing as how fat ugly blimps and their moronic boyfriends aren’t exactly the brighest lights in the cosmos, this huge hint was lost on them.

Pan Goatee the genetically created satyr serial killer was sitting on a sideways looking seat on a Calgary Transit bus when suddenly a fat ugly blimp sat across from him.

She might as well have been wearing a t-shirt that read BEHEAD ME PLEASE.

Her low-IQ moronic looking boyfriend sat next to her.

Pan Goatee moved to another seat where he wouldn’t have to look at the fat ugly blimp’s fat ugly face.

Upon Pan Goatee moving, the low-IQ moronic looking boyfriend then went and sat in Pan Goatee’s former seat across from her so he could look at her fat ugly face.

Then when the duo finally decided to get off the bus, the two bimbos rather than getting off the bus at the door closest to them chose to walk down and get off the bus at the door closest to Pan Goatee.

The bimbos had their chance to live and they blew it.

Pan Goatee sprang into action.

He beheaded the fat ugly blimp with his astral laser machete and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

As Krampus the demon goat arrived to carry the fat ugly blimp’s remains down to Tartarus, Pan went to work on the low-IQ moronic looking boyfriend.

He cut his head off and then cut him up into 999 trillion pieces.

Calgary’s airheaded Neo-Bolshevik Communist Mayor Jyoti Gondek (who had been riding the bus) protested, “That man and his girlfriend voted for me.”

“Well,” Goatee replied, “I guess you can cross their names off the voters’ list ”

. . .

Despite declaring an end to the Emergencies Act last week, Canada’s would-be Neo-Stalinist tyrant Justin Trudeau still hadn’t returned any of the money his government had seized from political dissidents’ bank accounts.

In fact Justin’s good Fascist buddies at the Canandian Bankers’ Association started running TV commercials promoting Digital ID and urging everyone to get it.

Justin and his buddies the bankers were still pushing an Antichrist Mark of the Beast system.

And it was revealed that Justin’s Whore of Babylon Nazi/Communist Hybrid Deputy Prime Minister of Canada and Federal Finance Minister Chrystia Freeland serves on the Board of Directors of Klaus Schwab’s World Economic Forum.

Schwab had said in an interview back on January 10th 2016 that everyone would have to take a digital ID chip in the next 10 years.

Israeli researcher Yuval Noah Hariri a staunch supporter of Transhumanism and the coming Homo Deus (that would replace Homo sapiens) says that everyone will take the chip and have their brain wirelessly connected to a computer and lose their free will but this will be a good thing.

NATO and the EU are not fighting for democracy and freedom but for a dystopian New World Order where everyone will be microchipped and have their minds controlled by AI.

Vladimir Putin is fighting for a revived Czarist Russian Empire.

Neither side is fighting for democracy and freedom.

Ukraine would do well not to be part of either system.

. . .

In a TV interview, Asmodeus the cigarette smoking demon of lust said that NATO and the European Union are under the control of the demons Baal, Baphomet, Mammon and Moloch.

While Vladimir Putin’s government is under the control of the Fallen Archangel Mephistopheles and the demon Pereplut.

Neither side is fighting for God.

. . .

And in Beijing, that supernatural entity known as the Black Dragon was telling Communist China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping that now was the time to invade Taiwan.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday February 28th
2022.

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The Czar’s Daughters

February 27, 2022 at 11:20 pm (Biographical, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

The Grand Duchesses Olga and Tatiana Nikolaevna on the balcony of the Alexander Palace Winter 1912. In happier times before the First World War and before the Bolshevik Revolution.

A moment in time
Two young women in the prime of youth
There was no war
There was no revolution
Nicholas II’s title was
Czar of All The Russias
Two of those Russias
Were Russia and Ukraine
Kiev and Moscow were at peace
No Stalin had arisen as yet
To kill 4 million Ukrainians
In the Holodomor
A genocide that would lead to rifts
Between Russian and Ukrainian brethren

An unknown aspect of the Czar’s last year of life
Is to be found in the autobiography of
Charles Sydney Gibbes
The English language tutor
To the Czar’s five children
Gibbes lived with the family in exile
After the February and October Revolutions
Of 1917.
The Czar was also allowed to read Foreign newspapers by Lenin
And have a staff to translate them.

When Nicholas read newspapers from Portugal
He became convinced that the Virgin Mary
Mother of Jesus had indeed appeared
At the village of Fatima in Portugal
To warn of cataclysm in Russia
Which would bring cataclysm to the world

Nicholas had a dream in which the Virgin Mary appeared to him
Nicholas told Gibbes that he and his family would soon die
Nicholas wrote down the contents of the dream in an envelope
Gave it to Gibbes
And told him to give the envelope
To the archives at Oxford University
With the instructions
That the envelope only be opened on the 100th
Anniversary of the deaths of the Czar and his family

A message that would have been very popular
During the Cold War
When not many thought they’d live to see
The 100th Anniversary of the deaths of
Czar Nicholas and his family

July 17th 2018
The 100th Anniversary of the Czar’s death
Came and went
No announcement from Oxford
On the openng of the envelope
Oxford has probably forgotten it has it
As Charles Sydney Gibbes died in obscurity
In a London hospital
During a terrible March snowstorm

That last testimony of the Czar given to Gibbes
Would probably bring fear and trembling to
Globalist and Communist alike
As the Mother of the Incarnate God-Man
Revealed their evil plans for the future
To Russia’s last Czar

Malachi Martin the Jesuit priest secretary
To the late Augustin Cardinal Bea
Papal advisor to Pope John XXIII
And a man who read the contents of the Third Secret of Fatima
(That the Vatican never released in June 2000 despite their lying claims to the contrary)
Told journalist/interviewer Bernard Janzen back in the early 1990s
That the Great Chastisement/Great Cataclysm foretold by the Virgin Mary
At Fatima in 1917
Would most likely start with a war between Kiev and Russia

That time is now.
This is no mere mortal battle.
But one in which ancient gods
And all the forces of Hell
Will partake.

-A poem written by Christopher
Sunday February 27th
2022

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Athena In Kiev

February 26, 2022 at 10:55 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Athena added a third candle to her candelabra as the lights went out in Kiev

Athena the Greek goddess of wisdom was in a dark abandoned house in Kiev.

These days wisdom was not to be found in the Kremlin in Moscow, the White House in Washington DC, 10 Downing Street in London and was most definitely not to be found at blackface racist groper Justin Trudeau’s residence in Ottawa.

The same held true for every political residence in every capital in NATO and the European Union.

It especially held true at the Vatican where yesterday the satanic AntiPope Jorge Mario Bergoglio had pulled a publicity stunt seeking photo-op by driving to the Russian Embassy in Rome to beg the Russian Ambassador for peace.

The stunt backfired when it turned out the Russian Ambassador wasn’t at the Embassy at the time.

And of course ghostly soldiers had been drawn into the Ukraine-Russia War.

The ghosts of the Trojan warriors of Prince Hector of Troy were fighting on the side of the Ukrainians.

And the ghosts of the ancient Greek warriors of King Agamemnon of Mycenae were fighting on the side of the Russians.

Back during the original Trojan War the goddess Athena had fought on the side of the Greeks against the Trojans.

She especially favoured Ulysses the king of Ithaca.

But not this time around.

The ghost of Ulysses was on his own clutching a copy of a book by James Joyce and a Thesaurus Guide To The Idioms of the Irish English Language.

In this war Athena was backing the Ukrainians and thus their ghostly allies the Trojan warriors of Prince Hector.

Her own brother Ares the Greek god of war had likewise switched sides.

Back during the original Trojan War, Ares had (under the influence of his sometimes girlfriend and lover Aphrodite the Greek goddess of love) backed the Trojans.

This time around Ares was backing the Russians and thus their ghostly allies the ancient Greek warrior ghosts under the leadership of King Agamemnon of Mycenae.

Athena looked out the window and saw her brother Ares walking the streets of Kiev.

He was accompanied by Thor the Norse god of thunder and Morrigan the Irish Celtic goddess of war.

It was her understanding that Thor and Morrigan would likewise be backing the Russians.

This was interesting because Thor’s father Odin she had heard was on the side of the Ukrainians.

Walking behind the trio of Ares, Thor and Morrigan were Loki the demoniac Norse trickster god and his son Fenrir the fierce Norse wolf connected to Ragnarok the battle of the Final Days in Norse mythology.

Loki and Fenrir were likewise backing the Russians.

Poseidon the Greek god of the ocean was backing the Russians as he had supported the ancient Greeks against the Trojans during the original Trojan War.

Apollo and Artemis had not yet announced on which side they stood.

Zeus, Hades, Demeter and Hestia were planning to stay neutral during this Ukraine-Russia War as they had during the original Trojan War.

Athena closed the curtains on the street scene.

Then she thought she heard the sound of dancing.

Quickly she opened the curtains and looked out the window.

There dancing on the streets of Kiev was the Hindu god Shiva and the Hindu goddess Kali.

Whose side are they on, Athena wondered, if any?

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday February 26th
2022

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Pan Goatee Beheads A Couple of More Uglos Plus Their Moronic Low-IQ Boyfriends

February 25, 2022 at 10:03 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

World-famous genetically created satyr Pan Goatee celebrating Chinese New Year earlier this month

All Hell seemed to have broken out this week.

Uglos were making a bleak mid-winter appearance in Calgary.

The price of gasoline was hitting an all time high.

And Russia had invaded Ukraine.

The serial killing gnome Jarod Jerome Le Gnome and his friend Pan Goatee seemed to be enjoying their bus ride.

So far no uglos had got on the bus they were riding.

Then about 3 stops before they were about to get off an uglo got on.

Then she decided to get off at the next stop and like all obnoxious and inconsiderate uglos she used the door closest to Jarod Jerome and Pan.

Jarod Jerome immediatly went and punched the uglo 999 trillion times in the face.

Pan Goatee beheaded the uglo and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

A Confucius lookalike sitting on the bus used his fingers at lightning speed to keep track of each punch and each cut on his abacus.

Jarod and Pan had to use a bus door two doors down to get off because of the mess made where the now beheaded and dismembered uglo had tried to get off.

Krampus the demon goat of Hell carried the uglo’s remains down to Tartarus.

A three-headed Godzilla (who was filling in for a now deceased three headed snake who was filling in for a sick on his deathbed three headed dog Cerberus at the entrance to the realm of Hades) committed hara-kiri when Krampus came by with the uglo’s remains.

“Shit there goes another one,” Hades the Greek god of the Underworld remarked when he heard what happened to the realm’s latest guardian and watcher.

“Actually there goes another three,” Persephone the Greek goddess of the Underworld pointed out as she threw an ancient Greek drachma coin up into the air and it landed heads.

Jarod Jerome Le Gnome and Pan Goatee then headed in the direction of a nearby McDonald’s where they would buy themselves each a Big Mac and a Diet Coke.

As they approached, they were visually assaulted by the sight of a super repulsively ugly looking high school girl and her two moronic looking low-IQ high school boyfriends.

“I’ll never be able to think of the term menage a trois ever again without barfing all over the place,” Goatee remarked as he barfed all over the place.

As Goatee was busy barfing all over the place, Jarod Jerome Le Gnome punched the repulsive looking high school uglo in the face 999 trillion times.

When Goatee was sufficiently barfed out, he beheaded the high school uglo and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

Krampus the demon goat carried the uglo’s remains down to Tartarus while singer Frankie Avalon sang a paraphrased version of a song from the musical Grease- this paraphrased version being “Uglo school drop down…”

A three-headed scorpion (temporarily filling in as the guardian and protector of the Realm of Hades) stung itself to death as Krampus walked by with the high school uglo’s remains.

Jarod Jerome Le Gnome then punched the two high school morons in the face 999 trillion times each for being such idiots with appalling bad taste.

Goatee then beheaded the two morons as he commented, “It’s idiots like you who probably vote for the likes of Joe Biden and Justin Trudeau.”

He then cut them up into 999 trillion pieces each.

. . .

Over in Ukraine the ghosts of the ancient Trojans (led by the ghost of Prince Hector of Troy) were fighting on the side of the Ukrainians while the ghosts of the ancient Greeks (led by King Agamemnon of Mycenae) were fighting on the side of the Russians.

An interesting development occurred when the ghost of Iphigenia managed to escape her father King Agamemnon’s 2nd sacrifice of her to Artemis.

King Agamemnon was planning to sacrifice his daughter’s ghost to Artemis with a little help from spirit cook Marina Abramovic.

Iphigenia was so ticked at her father trying to sacrifice her to Artemis for a second time that she resolved to fight on the side of the Trojans and the Ukrainans.

The ghost of Hector was delighted to have Iphigenia as an ally.

He asked his younger sister Cassandra to become her friend.

The ghosts of Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud watched Iphigenia’s introduction to Cassandra.

“I wonder who Apollo the Greek god of prophecy,” Jung pondered, “will prophesy to win the Ukraine-Russia War?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday February 25th
2022.

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Pan Goatee Beheads World’s 2nd and 3rd Fattest and Ugliest Fat Ugly Blimps

February 24, 2022 at 10:32 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Calgary’s blizzardy winter weather conditions had brought out the fat ugly blimps for some reason causing aesthetic environmental crusader Pan Goatee to once again come to the rescue.

The gnome serial killer known as Jarod Jerome Le Gnome noticed the fat ugly blimp as he got on the bus.

Thus he went and sat in another section of the bus so he didn’t have to look at the repulsive uglo.

However the obnoxious and inconsiderate fat ugly blimp instead of using the door closest to her to get off the bus walked to the back of the bus to get off so Pan Goatee and Jarod Jerome Le Gnome were once again forced to take a look at her fat ugly face.

Jarod Jerome Le Gnome then went up and punched her in the face 999 trillion times.

Pan Goatee brought out his trusty and trusted astral laser machete and beheaded the fat ugly blimp before cutting her up into 999 trillion pices.

Krampus the demon goat arrived to take the fat ugly blimp’s remains down to Tartarus.

A three headed snake who was filling in for Cerberus (who had become indisposed recently) bit itself and died from its own venom when it caught a glimpse of the fat ugly blimp’s remains.

Later at a Rona Hardware Supply Store, Pan Goatee caught a glimpse of yet another fat ugly blimp.

Once again he beheaded this fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

Goatee noted that with so many fat ugly blimps suddenly making appearances in the last 24 hours that “Now is the winter of our discontent.”

. . .

The ghost of Prince Hector of Troy walked the streets of Kiev as in the distance he could see flashes as Russian missiles hit Kiev’s Boryspil International Airport.

Prince Hector and the ghosts of his fellow Trojans were fighting on the side of Ukraine.

King Agamemnon and his League of Ancient Homeric Greek Kings were fighting on the side of Russia.

Ulysses in addressing the League proposed building a Wooden Pierogi and leaving it outside the Kiev City Gates for Kiev citizens to let in.

Agamemnon said there were no City Gates around Kiev.

Indeed there were not.

And Hector noticed his old arch enemy Achilles standing across the street on the other side of Maidan Square.

-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Thursday February 24th
2022.

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Perverted Roman Emperor Elagabalus Bangs Village Person Dutch PM Mark Rutte In The Rear At Amsterdam YMCA

June 27, 2021 at 10:45 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was having a vision of the dream that the Netherlands’ “Lot’s wife pillar of salt challenged” Prime Minister Mark Rutte was currently having.

Mr. Rutte who couldn’t decide on being a cowboy, an Indian chief, a policeman, a construction worker, a disco dancer or a BDSM leather boy poster child when he grew up settled for becoming Prime Minister of the Netherlands instead.

Mr. Rutte was currently having a dream where he was in the sauna room of the local YMCA in Amsterdam.

He was being sodomized in the rear end by the ghost of the perverted Roman Emperor Elagabalus (circa 204-March 11th 222 AD, reigned as perverted Roman Emperor from 218 to 222 AD).

Elagabalus was singing,

“In the Navy, you can sail the Seven Seas in the Navy,
you can bend over if you please in the Navy…”

With that the cross-dressing Emperor Elagabalus bent Mr. Rutte over and let him have it full throttle where the sun don’t shine.

Elagabalus shouted for joy as did Dutch Prime Minister Mark Rutte.

With the coming together in unity-in-diversity of perverted ancient Roman Emperor Elagabalus and perverted modern Dutch leader Mark Ratte, Ratte shouted, “Hungary objects to such activities. Therefore we must kick Hungary out of the European Union.”

All in all, Michelangelo reflected, it would probably be best for Hungary if it did leave the European Union.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday June 27th
2021.

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