NASA, The Zohar and The Seven-Planet Star System

March 6, 2017 at 3:41 pm (Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Mossad agent they called The Controller of the Golem was back in Jerusalem.

He had spent months recovering in a private London hospital (connected to Set Enterprises) after he had been poisoned with Polonium-210 given him by the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith.

Now he was reading a report that a group of fanatically inclined Kabbalistic Jews were intending to blow up the Dome on the Rock and the Mosque of Omar and replace it with a Third Jewish Temple.

What was bringing about the action was NASA’s discovery of a 7-planet star system with its Spitzer space telescope.

The dwarf star called Trappist-1 (39 light years away from Earth) had 7 planets orbiting it.

The trouble was that the Zohar (the foundational work of Jewish mysticism) predicted the appearance of a star with seven “stars” orbiting it prior to the arrival of the Messiah…

… a star will rise up in the East, blazing in all colours, and seven other stars will surround that star. And they will wage war on it.

Now one sect was convinced that NASA’s announcement was proof of this star system predicted in the Zohar.

The Messiah wouldn’t be far behind.

Well, the Controller sighed, he didn’t know about the Messiah but he had the feeling Hell on Earth was just around the corner.

Lilith The Vampiress

Lilith: One glass of Polonium-210 this day
will send the coroner heading your way

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 6th
2017.

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Sherlock Holmes and The Zohar

March 5, 2017 at 4:47 pm (Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Religion, The Supernatural) (, , , , , , , )

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was having a dream about Basil Rathbone as Sherlock Holmes and Nigel Bruce as Dr. Watson. In the dream, Holmes said to Watson:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson

According to the Zohar the foundational text of Jewish mysticism, Watson, a seven-star system similar to our own will be discovered and then all Hell shall break loose.

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Haiku About Planet 9

January 21, 2016 at 9:14 pm (Folklore, International Intrigue, News, Poetry, Science) (, , , , , )

Haiku About Planet 9

Dark unseen planet
NASA scoffs at Nibiru
yet truth is out there

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Renfield’s Take On Liquid Water Being Found On Mars

September 29, 2015 at 7:09 pm (Commentary, News, Science, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Renfield’s Take On Liquid Water Being Found On Mars

“Now that NASA has found signs of flowing water on Mars, their next most important step should be to find signs of flowing beer on Mars.”

-Renfield R. Renfield

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NASA Rover Curiosity Lands On Mars

August 7, 2012 at 3:01 pm (Commentary, Humour) (, , , )

The NASA rover Curiosity has landed on the surface of Mars to look for signs of life.

And this BREAKING NEWS just in… Curiosity has found signs of LIFE ON MARS.

What used to be life…

… apparently Curiosity landed on top of a Martian cat and killed it when it landed.

Repeat.

Curiosity killed the cat.

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The General And The CIA Special Archives

September 3, 2011 at 7:41 pm (Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The General was touring CIA headquarters in Langley, Virginia.

He was the director designate of the CIA.

He had served in both Iraq and Afghanistan and was a decorated soldier.

He had been called to Headquarters in Langley to receive a special briefing on a theft that had occurred at the CIA Special Archives.

“Special Archives?” the General asked his briefer.

“These are items that are so sensitive to national security that they’re not even put on computer for fear of attack by hackers,” the briefer explained, “so they’re kept as paper documents in a special secure fire proof safe on this floor.”

“And someone recently broke in and stole one of the documents?” the General asked.

“That is correct, sir,” said the briefer, “although one might use the term some thing. It was a hamster that walked into the safe when one of our agents was going through the Special Archives and helped himself to the file- that is the hamster helped himself to the file.”

“Hamster?” the General was flabbergasted, “you mean like one of those furry-?…”

“Exactly sir,” the briefer nodded, “one of those cute cuddly furry little things that are so popular with children. That ride their hamster wheels around and around in cages.”

“And you’ve got photos and videos of the hamster stealing the file?” the General asked.

“Indeed we do, sir,” the briefer said, “otherwise we wouldn’t have suspected a hamster. Hamsters are rather small in size as you no doubt know sir so that’s why no one saw it. But after the theft was detected, we re-checked the security cameras on this floor and through close-ups spotted the hamster.”

“And I suppose you lost track of the hamster?” the General sighed.

“We lost track of the hamster, yes, sir,” the briefer answered, “but not our rodent sniffing cat special agent whom we call Bourne Feline.”

“The CIA has a rodent sniffing cat special agent called Bourne Feline?” the General shook his head.

“Yes, sir, the cost of his cat food which comes under CIA special appropriations was a subject of intense heated debate earlier this summer between Republican and Democrat over whether it should be subject to cuts if the U.S. debt ceiling was to be raised,” the briefer explained, “it was almost a deal killer for the debt deal that is until President Obama asked his daughter Malia to step in and speak to a closed session of Congress and tell members of both parties what an extremely cute kitty cat it was.”

“A little child shall lead them,” the General quoted Scripture.

“I beg your pardon, sir,” his briefer blinked.

“Continue,” the General waved his hand.

“So Bourne Feline using his rodent sniffing skills tracked the scent of the hamster down to a motel room in the town of Mineral, Virginia which coincidentally was also the epicenter of last month’s major East Coast earthquake,” the briefer noted.

“And when our agents got there, did they find a hamster?” the General asked.

“No, sir, the hamster appears to have dropped off the face of the Earth,” the briefer answered, “when our agents got there, a British subject by the name of Renfield R. Renfield was busy banging the town’s very beautiful local lady of the evening.”

“And what are Mr. Renfield’s last known whereabouts?” the General inquired.

“Mr. Renfield was last seen floating down a flooded highway in Vermont,” the briefer briefed.

“Best to concentrate our efforts on recapturing the scent of the hamster,” the General ordered.

“Very good, sir,” the briefer saluted.

“Oh, one more thing,” the General turned around, “what was in the file that was stolen?”.

“The file relates how when Apollo 11 landed on the moon in July, 1969, they found a casket containing a vampire on the lunar surface,” the briefer related.

“Really?” now it was the General’s turn to blink.

“Yes, sir,” the briefer nodded, “when Commander Neil Armstrong asked what was to be done about the coffin, one of NASA’s senior higher-ups ordered Armstrong to put the casket and the respective vampire aboard the lunar module and bring it back to Earth.”

“A NASA top official ordered that a casket containing a vampire be brought back to Earth?” the General was incredulous.

“Yes, sir,” the briefer acknowledged, “in retrospect the decision wouldn’t exactly be considered rocket science.”

To be continued.

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