Renfield Muses On The Mueller Report

March 25, 2019 at 10:12 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield had left the House of Commons while fisticuffs and wrestling matches over Brexit were still going on.

British Prime Minister Theresa May had former Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson in a headlock and British Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn was having his balls crushed by members of the Democratic Ulster Party.

Renfield joined his friends Amadeus Emanon and Angelique Dumont for dinner in a nearby restaurant.

As Renfield and Angelique already had both dessert and then coffee while Amadeus was now working on his 33rd plate of the All You Can Eat Fish and Chips Special, the chef and the owner were both down on their knees saying their Hail Marys that the concert pianist’s ravenous appetite would soon come to an end.

“So,” Amadeus sipped on his iced tea, “what’s your reaction to the Mueller Report?”.

“Well, it should come as no surprise to intelligent people that there was no collusion between the Russians and the Trump campaign,” Renfield slowly worked on his third post-dinner and dessert cup of coffee, “as intelligent people realize that Vladimir Putin is too intelligent a man to have his intelligence agencies co-operate and work with a disaster in the making like Donald Trump. That fact was of course totally lost on the New York Times, The Washington Post and most Congressional Democrats. But then of course it would be.”

“I noticed the Mueller Report did not give a definite statement one way or the other on whether Donald Trump obstructed justice,” Angelique noted.

“No, I suppose a legal opinion will have to be formulated on whether or not being an idiot constitutes obstruction of justice,” Renfield leaned back in his seat, “The question did not have to be addressed previously in American history because no one like Donald Trump had ever occupied the White House before.”

“What does this portend for the future?” Amadeus asked as he was trying to decide between eating his piece of halibut or his piece of cod next.

“Well, it does bode well for Trump,” Renfield said, “given the New York Times and Washington Post track record. Both papers said there was no way Trump would win the 2016 election. When he did, both papers’ editorial boards tried to explain away their colossal error in judgment by blaming Trump’s victory on the Russians. Now that Mueller has shot a hole in that theory leaving both The Times and The Post with egg on their faces (causing vegan subscribers to both papers to cancel their subscriptions over the outrageous use of poultry byproducts), they will no doubt continue to insist that there’s no way Trump can win re-election. Which should be good news for Trump.”

“What will this mean for the world stage?” Angelique asked.

“Well, the Nicolas Maduro regime in Venezuela can probably breathe a sigh of relief,” Renfield answered, “as there probably won’t be any U.S. military intervention in Venezuela in the near future. Which would have been the case had Mueller found any criminal wrongdoing on Trump’s part. Trump would then have done what any U.S. President had done in the past when faced with a major political scandal at home and that is to start a war abroad in order to divert the electorate’s attention and get people to rally around the flag and rally around the President as the bearer of the flag. Venezuela being the closest place to intervene would have been Trump’s first choice. An added benefit as well since the body bags wouldn’t have so far to fly home.”

“So does this mean peace on the world stage?” Amadeus waved to the waiter to order another plate of fish and chips.

“Sadly no,” Renfield shook his head, “The situation in the Middle East could blow sky high at any moment. There was already a Hamas rocket attack on a suburb of Tel Aviv overnight. And the Israeli Air Force are currently bombing Gaza in retaliation. Syria, Iran and Russia may decide to do something about the Golan Heights situation in response to Trump recognizing Israeli sovereignty over the area. There are all sorts of fuses that could go off over there.”

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec during a raging sea storm on the Isle of Patmos (site of the Apostle Saint John’s vision of the Apocalypse)

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 25th


  1. George F. said,

    …start a war abroad in order to divert the electorate’s attention and get people to rally around the flag and rally around the President as the bearer of the flag.” You really do see the big picture Drac…brilliant commentary, as always. And even tho your Vampire princess had nothing to do with the story, I love her anyway and want a hook-up. I’ve blood to spare.

  2. annieasksyou said,

    I look forward to your bringing your wit and observations to the Southern District of New York, the NY District Atty’s office, and all the farm teams throughout the country who aren’t yet ready to let this thing go. The Barr-barian running the Justice Dept will not have the final word.
    But I’m sure you’re right that imminent war has been averted. The question many of us worry about is which war will occur when he’s forced to leave office, even—heaven forfend— if he serves another full term.

    On a happier note, my piece in Kraken’s honor is posted and awaits your visit.


    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      My mother had a cousin who lived in Watertown New York.

      We used to get letters and cards from her for Christmas and our birthdays.

      She never married and she died back in the late 70s or early 80s.

      The last time my mother went to see her in person was back in 1973 or ’74 when Watergate was at its height.

      So she was the only New York connection I have.

      I do have a friend I met through blogging 15 years ago who lives in NYC.

      He’s a bartender by night and a poet by day.

      It was through reading his poems that I started writing poetry on my own.

      Anyways off to read about the Kraken.

      • annieasksyou said,

        It ain’t over! One reliable report last night had a federal prosecutor in a case involving a “mystery” company owned by a foreign govt telling the judge the case should not be closed even though Mueller handed in his report because this investigation, which the Supreme Ct declined to weigh in on, “continues robustly.” The judge agreed; the case continues. Here’s hopin’!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Mystery company owned by foreign governments?

        It’s remarkable how the James Bond films of the 1960s and ’70s were prophetic of early 21st Century geopolitics.

  3. shєrríє dє vαlєríα said,

    Apocalypse is also on the way to Europe after the EU had passed the law of Article 11 and 13 here. They want to manipulate the people by preventing them using Youtube, vids, no more Memes, either, and everything you use or even sharing a link from any website, you must have a copyright issue on it … or else they block you all!
    Armageddon is happening.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,


      I hadn’t heard about that, Sherry.

      The Apocalypse is definitely happening.

      That’s definitely a violation of freedom of speech- what the EU is setting out to do.

      No different from what the Xi Jinping regime in Beijing is doing with its Internet social credit score or what Vladimir Putin is now setting out to do in Russia.

      They’re turning the Inernet into a cyberspace version of the old USSR.

  4. shєrríє dє vαlєríα said,

    Go and check this.
    It is NOT ONLY YOUTUBE will have the problem … this will infect everyone and everything in the internet world soon enough …

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