Pan Goatee Beheads More Uglos While Arnold Schwarzenegger Meets His End In Michelangelo’s Vision

April 12, 2022 at 9:56 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Krampus the demon dreams of beheading the demon Baphomet in a boxing ring

Following a boxing match in which his favourite boxer the living dead zombie boxer Gordon the Black Donnelly (of the infamous Black Donnelly clan of 19th Century Lucan Ontario) wins the Heavyweight Boxing Championship of the World, Krampus then stepped into the ring and beheaded the transgendered demon goat human freak Baphomet (who along with the demons Baal and Moloch was one of the patron demons of the U.S. Democratic Party).

Krampus then woke up.

It had all been a dream (and Baphomet’s nightmare).

His alarm went off.

His friend the genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee must have just beheaded and dismembered another uglo.

Pan Goatee was in downtown Calgary when he saw a really repulsive looking fat ugly blimp step on to a down escalator.

“You ugly looking spawn of the freak Baphomet and the Big Bang’s pompous pseudointellectual Sheldon Cooper’s fat ugly blimp of a girlfriend and later wife,” Goatee raised his astral laser machete, “you’re really going down.”

The satyr threw his machete in boomerang fashion.

The machete beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

The ugly looking spawn of the freak Baphomet and the Big Bang’s pompous pseudointellectual Sheldon Cooper’s fat ugly blimp of a girlfriend and later wife was now dead.

Krampus arrived to pick up the remains.

Later Pan Goatee caught the bus home.

A repulsive thin ugly looking stoat and her moronic girlfriend came and sat down across from the satyr.

Goatee immediately beheaded the thin ugly stoat and cut her up into 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x ad infinitum etc. etc. pieces.

The great Irish-Jewish American science-fiction writer George Finneganburg was trying to use an ancient Chinese abacus to keep track of the pieces.

“I wish I had the world famous cellist Tina Guo beside me helping me keep track,” Finneganburg sighed.

The world famous cellist Tino Guo sat down beside him in her sexy metallic leather mini dress.

“Maybe there really is a God,” Finneganburg was starting to reconsider his atheistic inclinations.

. . .

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was having a vision (or was it a dream) of various bozos getting their panties in a knot because of a sixth wave of Covid-19 (what generations prior to 2019 had called the common cold/flu).

One of those bozos getting his panties in a knot was former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger.

“I can’t get into my panties,” the former bodybuilder complained to his pet goat.

He then made a video calling for compulsory lockdowns, compulsory masking and compulsory DeathVaxx vaccinations for everyone.

He then ended his video by telling American citizens and citizens of the world to “Screw your freedom.”

No sooner had the video ended than Schwarzenegger found his house invaded by British MP Renfield R. Renfield and his personal British Army brigade of Gurkhas.

Said Renfield, “Now that you’ve stepped into your father’s shoes, we found your dad’s old World War II Army uniform.”

The Gurkhas then fitted the ex-husband of Maria Shriver (and current husband of the former California governor’s pet goat) into his dad’s Austrian SS Army uniform.

Once he was in the uniform, a rope was put around Schwarzenegger’s neck and the rope was pulled to the ceiling while Schwarzenegger had his dad’s shoes (that he was wearing on his feet) placed atop a very tall stool.

The stool had a sign attached to it that said KICK ME.

“By the way,” Renfield smiled, “you won’t be back.”

The British MP then kicked the stool.

The Ex-Terminator was now exterminated.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday April 12th



  1. Kritika said,

    Hehe the last line is awesome. Actually the masks are shaped that way. Lols

  2. Hyperion said,

    The Apple never falls far from the tree. I wonder if that was an Austrian SS saying. We could ask Arnold but he’s with Baphomet now.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, he’s with Baphomet now.

      He’s gone from a regular goat to a transgendered Transgoated goat.

      • Hyperion said,

        LOL 😂. This was not imagined when the old goat accepted his fate.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        This is what happens when Ray Kurzweil meets The Amazing Criswell. 😂

      • Hyperion said,

        Magic happens and Kurzweil now has a goat head on his shoulders.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Transhumanism hasn’t gone the way he intended.

        And his consciousness is now in animation suspended.

      • Hyperion said,

        The transformation appears it can’t be mended

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And like Biden’s bowels, he’s hanging from a thread on which his life Depended.

      • Hyperion said,

        If he loses his grip he’ll certainly be descended

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And Virgil tells Dante, “With Hellfire and brimstone he’ll be well blended.”

      • Hyperion said,

        The, “I’ll be back,” reruns are permanently ended.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        “Hallelujah” was the angelic message sended.

      • Hyperion said,

        Conan the Bavarian, in Germany no longer pretended.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And Sherry’s pet goat made sure he was permanently rear ended.

      • Hyperion said,

        A butt to the butt and the naughty are upended

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        On Facebook the Girly Man was much unfriended.

      • Hyperion said,

        Certainly no chances here to be newly wedded

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        But if you’re ugly, you can always be beheaded.

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