Greek Goddess Hera and Samhain Cardinal Salaman

September 5, 2022 at 9:40 pm (Art History, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

The Greek goddess Hera was modelling at a fashion show in Rome, Italy

Bothered by the infidelity of her chronically unfaithful husband the Greek god Zeus, Hera was trying to gain some self confidence by modelling among the most beautiful women in the world at a fashion show in Rome.

Among the guests who would be attending the fashion show was Samhain Cardinal Salaman.

Cardinal Salaman was one of the few heterosexual Cardinals to work in Pope Francis’ Vatican which had been described by one commentator as “one vast uncloseted closet of gays”.

The Grindr hook-up app was the most downloaded app in the Vatican today.

Pope Alexander VI (aka Rodrigo Borgia) was turning over in his rotating barbeque spit down in Tartarus over the news that his Vatican of intense heterosexual lust and orgies had become a Vatican of intense homosexual lust and orgies under Pope Francis.

Samhain Cardinal Salaman was anxious to see real women for a change rather than the fairy queens who paraded up and down the halls of the contemporary Vatican.

Although according to members of Joe Biden’s cabinet and the brainless mainstream media there was no such being as a real woman anymore.

Samhain Cardinal Salaman was impressed by Hera’s performance on the catwalk in this early September Roman fashion show.

After the show was over, he went backstage to the dressing rooms to talk to the Olympian goddess.

“Excuse me but aren’t you the Greek goddess Hera?” Samhain Cardinal Salaman asked her.

Hera the beautiful goddess (often left alone by the “always searching for a new pussy” Zeus) turned to look at him.

“I am,” she answered, “Aren’t you Samhain Cardinal Salaman the only heterosexual Cardinal who works full time at the Vatican?”.

Later that evening the Cardinal and the goddess had dinner and wine together in an exclusive Rome restaurant.

“So how did you recognize me?” Hera asked the Cardinal.

“From your busts, statues and portraits that are kept in the lower floors of the Vatican,” Samhain answered, “At one time they were on the main floor of the Vatican but after Jorge Mario Bergoglio was elected Pope, all those works of art were moved downstairs and replaced by all the busts, naked statues and nude portraits of the ancient Greek gods. No goddesses allowed.”

“It’s a wonder why Francis has not commissioned new works of art for the Vatican that are inclined towards his tastes,” Hera licked a pair of olives from her martini.

“Well it was tried once with a notorious Australian male model named Uncle Ernie (who had posed for Salvador Dali back in the 1950s). Uncle Ernie served as the model for a nude Goliath. However after the world’s first microscope, invented by Dutch father and son team Hans and Zacharias Janssen in 1590 and kept in the Vatican Archives, was broken after the papal investigation team tried to locate something that was apparently far far less than gargantuan on Uncle Ernie posing as Goliath’s statue, a new work of art was never commissioned again,” Cardinal Salaman explained.

“Interesting,” Hera swallowed the olives.

They got around to discussing the recently failed Artemis 1 moon rocket launches.

“I’ve been told they failed because Artemis is furious that Joe Biden apparently killed at least two of her sacred deer on a deer hunting expedition last fall,” Cardinal Salaman ate his spaghetti.

“That is true,” Hera nodded, “Originally Artemis just thought that one of her sacred deer was slain. So senile old fool Joe sacrificed a daughter from an extra marital affair to Artemis last Thursday in Philadelphia. Just before Joe gave his Hitlerian Fuhrer like speech (with Nazi flag colours in the background behind him) in Philadelphia in which he threatened to send the military after half of the electorate in the country. ”

“Yes, I heard that Joe did such a good job at impersonating a Hitler under the influence of alcohol and an Henry VIII style over indulgence in roast beef (the original Fuhrer was both a teetotaler and a vegetarian) that apparently an independent film producer is thinking of making a film in which both Joe Biden and Justin Trudeau will have the lead starring roles,” Cardinal Salaman noted, “The movie will be about Adolf Hitler meeting Jesse Owens at the 1936 Summer Olympics.”

“Yes, I heard that too,” Hera smiled.

-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Monday September 5th


  1. monimonikablog said,

    Dear Christopher, I hope you are going well.
    Although I sometimes have really to concentrate on the english texts to understand, I love your stories! There is so much truth in it. I also saw the picture of Joe with the red background. History is repeating.
    Take care. πŸ™‚

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Dear Moni,


      I’m trying to do the best I can these days.

      It’s hard to get money for food, rent and clothing on the Alberta provincial government’s meager disability allowance.

      Yes, sadly, Moni, history is repeating itself.

      Today I just came across a story that Canada’s national public broadcaster the CBC is now calling for medically assisted suicide for millions of physically and mentally disabled Canadians in order to save money for the Canadian health care system.

      That’s exactly how the Nazi Holocaust began.

      It did not begin with any ethnic group.

      It began in 1937 with killing the physically and mentally disabled.

      And the Nazis used the same reasons as does the CBC.


      The physically and mentally disabled were too much of a burden on the German national economy, Herr Goebbels assured everyone.

      History is repeating itself. 😞

      You take care as well, Moni. πŸ™‚

      • Hyperion said,

        This is indeed frightening.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, indeed, my friend.

        As soon as I read that article, I was absolutely shocked.

        Because that was how the Nazis started out.

        Killing the physically and mentally handicapped claiming they were a burden on the German economy.

        Then they moved on to races and ethnic groups they considered sub-human and inferior.

      • Hyperion said,

        And have we heard from other nations and UN agencies condemning this WEF plan to ultimately exterminate those who won’t be good fodder for the Arbeit Macht Frei work camps? I’m sure the elderly are next.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, sadly, the elderly are probably next. 😞

      • Hyperion said,

        When they come for me, I have a surprise in my diaper for them. Muwaaaa haaaa haaaa! πŸ€£πŸ’¨πŸŒΆπŸ€’

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Shave your facial hair down to where all that remains is an Adolf Hitler looking moustache and they’ll let you go thinking that you’re Joe Biden. πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

      • Hyperion said,

        Waaa haaaa haaaa! How to survive modern times πŸ₯Έ

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        From Charlie Chaplin to the Great Dictator.

      • Hyperion said,

        We’ll learn how to use our smart phone to create deepfake Only Fans websites to make millions so we can afford the best prepper food and gadgets.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I understand Sherrielock Holmes makes a fortune selling her Bavarian Magic Mushroom Cleaner to men who subscribe to Fans Only sites.

        They have to wipe their desktop, laptop, tablet and smart phone screens a lot for some reason.

      • Hyperion said,

        I’m sure it’s all that perspiration from following along with all those Russian female yoga instructors. I’ve heard they are quite bendy and foldy and you know that’s got to be a hard act to follow.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I think you’re absolutely right, Daniel.

      • Hyperion said,

        I wouldn’t be surprised to find Renfield and Michelangelo are members. The next millionaire will be the clever person that makes a raincoat for smart phones and tablets.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Now, there’s an idea. πŸ€‘

      • Hyperion said,

        I’m sure we’ll see this product soon since we first mentioned it here.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, I’m sure we will. πŸ’»β˜‚πŸ“±β˜‚

      • Hyperion said,


      • Dracul Van Helsing said,


      • monimonikablog said,

        Hey. thank you for telling me your worries. I wish you’ll always find a way to get through the daily challenges.

        yes, the Nazi Holocaust firstly began with the ill and disabled people. GΓΆbbels sold it good to the German people.
        But, this sounds like from a horror movie what CBC is calling for. It is satanic and completely sick! Our whole world is sick. We are living in a system of the devil and 99% of the population is thinking it must be like this, because they learn it from childhood on.

        Have you ever heard about the pole shift? I wonder what story you would write about. Yesterday I just listened to a podcast from someone and they say it is just 7 or 8 months away.
        So… all will be exciting, if this is happening.

        all the best, have a good day Christopher πŸ™‚

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        No, I haven’t heard about the coming pole shift.

        I’ll have to look into that.

        All the best to you, Moni. πŸ™‚

      • monimonikablog said,

        i can only find it in German. He is a bio physicist. for me it is interesting.
        in english there is nothing on youtube. But here in Germany a lot of videos are banned, censored.


      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Thank you for the link, Moni. πŸ™‚

        A lot of videos here in Canada and the U.S. are being censored as well.

  2. Hyperion said,

    Another great entry in the series. I got a big laugh out of the reference to JT wearing blackface once again, this time to play the role of Jessie Owens.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, I thought you’d enjoy that line, Daniel. πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

      • Hyperion said,

        Herr Trudope will never live down that antiquated and not quite politically correct screw up.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, Herr Trudope is not quite as “woke” as he pretends to be.

      • Hyperion said,

        Nothing more pathetic than someone trying to act woke and screwing it all up.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, Justin Trudeau would get two thumbs down and a kick in the ass from Simon Cowell.

      • Hyperion said,

        Ha ha haaaaa! I’d pay full price for a ticket to see that. πŸ˜†

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, money well spent. πŸ˜€

  3. Jessica said,

    “no such being as a real woman anymore” oh my god that hits hard. Sometimes it does feel like gender seems to have become meaningless.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      You’re so right, Jessica.

      Sometimes it does feel like gender has become meaningless these days. 😞

      • Jessica said,

        Worse part is that (we heard) in Norway (my husband is full on rage over it) the school is required to tell the kids that you might want to change your gender. That is so not fair! Why say it? Why not let the kids grow up and find out for themselves what kind of sexuality they have? I have good gay and lesbian friends, but this attitude is brainwashing, in my opinion. The worse part is that the parents will let their 6-year-old gender change surgery. At that age, they have no idea what they’re going into yet, puberty can change a person a lot.

        I can say more but I’ll shut up now haha πŸ˜‚

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, the whole world seems to have gone crazy, Jessica.

        Even in Norway it appears.

        I guess all that lutefisk they eat doesn’t help them maintain their sanity.

        Or maybe it’s all that lutefisk that drives them insane.πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

  4. David Redpath said,

    Uncle Ernie is a big philistine, now
    that you mention it, Christopher πŸ€”
    When he got that modelling job
    Uncle Ernie thought surrealism
    was a medical condition so he kept
    offering Salvador Dali painkillersπŸ’Š
    Soon he was invited to all the best
    bohemian parties πŸŽ‰ 😎

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      So that’s how Uncle Ernie broke into the big time rock and roll scene behind the scenes.

      He was the big rock stars’ favourite pharmaceutical dispensary.πŸ’Š

      • David Redpath said,

        Old Uncle Ernie has certainly
        dispensed with any semblance
        of civility since opening his
        celebrity online pharmacy βš•οΈπŸ˜Ž

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I wonder if his undeclared untaxed income could pay off Australia’s national debt? πŸ€”

      • David Redpath said,

        Uncle Ernie is a fortunate cookie,
        as the Chinese are paying off the
        Australian government’s huge debt
        by buying much coal and iron ore
        (just like we did selling pig iron to
        Japan before to the Second World
        War). Who ever said Australia isn’t
        a free trade whore?

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Nothing like selling iron to the enemies of democracy.

  5. Chado said,

    Thanks for providing real science-driven rules-based WOKE news.
    You are my go-to source for current events. as well as Olympian updates.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Current events and Olympian updates.

      This is the time and the place, right now, all right. πŸ˜€

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