Qonzilqointec Arrives On Scene After Renfield Beheading of An ISIS Fighter Video
Qonzilqointec Arrives On Scene After A Renfield Beheading of ISIS Fighter Video
In response to the ISIS beheading of British aid worker Alan Henning, British commandos turned over to Renfield R. Renfield yet another ISIS fighter they had captured and taken prisoner.
In previous videos he had made, Renfield had dressed an ISIS fighter in a clown suit and had electrocuted him using his own particular answer to the Ice Bucket Challenge that was all the craze during the summer of 2014.
Then in another video, he had dressed an ISIS fighter in a pink mini dress and long pink wig making him look like a transvestite drag queen of the decadent western world and then beheaded him to the tune of Culture Club’s Boy George singing Karma Chameleon.
In this new video that Renfield was filming, the ISIS fighter was standing completely naked and had his hands tied above his head to a rope hanging from the ceiling. His legs were then spread-eagled and his ankles chained to the floor.
Before the man had been stripped naked and placed in this room, he had been forced to down 10 pitchers of dissolved laxative pill laced ice water.
A group of mini skirted hookers that Renfield had hired from London’s East End then came into the room and put copies of The Quran in Arabic all over the floor and under the ISIS fighter.
Renfield then sat behind a mirrored window in the next room and had a beer and sampled some popcorn and wondered how long the ISIS fighter would be able to hold it before he ended up urinating and defecating on all those copies of The Quran.
It turned out the ISIS fighter wasn’t able to hold it very long.
To the man’s horror, his kidneys and bowels positively exploded and emptied all their contents all over those copies of the Quran.
Renfield then entered the room wearing an Ebola virus and infectious diseases style protection suit with protective masked helmet and protective boots.
He whistled the tune of the song Whistle While You Work as he approached the naked ISIS fighter.
He then took out his samurai sword and proceeded to behead the ISIS fighter in synchronized rhythm to the melody of Scheherazade the classical symphonic suite composed by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov that he then had playing in the ceiling loudspeakers of the room.
He then placed the severed head on top of the urine and dung-covered copies of the Quran.
He then gave the raspberry as he put a red beret on top of the man’s head.
He then proceeded to sing his own paraphrased version of Prince’s mid-80s song,
“He wore raspberry beret…”
. . .
Renfield then hacked into the Islamic State’s (IS) television broadcast signal where he inserted the video for the IS audience to watch.
The video ended with Renfield R. Renfield’s trademark and copyrighted raised middle finger logo and a voice saying, “Brought to you by Renfield Raspberry To The Caliphate Productions. All rights reserved. No part or portion of this video may be reproduced or redistributed in whole or in part without written permission from Renfield Raspberry To The Caliphate Productions…”
. . .
The Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec was waiting for Renfield when he returned home from his London broadcasting studios.
As he entered the living room of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal London mansion, there standing in the living room wearing a sunflower yellow coloured evening dress and ruby encrusted poppy red coloured super spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes was the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec.
“Mr. Renfield,” the Aztec vampire princess spoke in her sultry seductive voice, “I have something important to discuss with you.”
In Renfield’s mind, he could hear the melody of Roger Whittaker’s lyrics “I can feel a new tomorrow coming on” playing although those lyrics for him had been changed to “I can feel a new erection coming on” as Qonzilqointec stood there smoothing her exquisite and shapely form-hugging dress.
. . .
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday October 6th
2014.
Dracul Van Helsing 
Hyperion said,
December 4, 2015 at 4:08 pm
Jolly good ole boy! I think Renfield’s methods of politically incorrect curtailment of the long suffering life of terrorists should be FDA approved for widest possible dissemination. Videos should be played on the BBC right after reruns of Lawrence of Arabia and Ben Hur.
Dracul Van Helsing said,
December 4, 2015 at 4:49 pm
Yes, indeedy, LOL !
I can imagine the Social Faciliator In Chief’s reaction after the video was shown :
“This administration is deeply disturbed by the video it saw. We hope this is not indicative of what our British allies are doing in the War On Terror. The United States strongly condemns this barbaric action. Furthermore… all right… who threw that cream pie in my face? Someone chase after that person who’s just turned into a hamster. We can’t have someone trying to make a clown of the President of the United States…”
Hyperion said,
December 4, 2015 at 5:27 pm
Bwaaaaa haaaa haaaaaa! That would be far more effective than Bush’s shoe to the face.
Dracul Van Helsing said,
December 4, 2015 at 6:14 pm
Yes, it would. 😀
The Magician’s Assistant | Dracul Van Helsing said,
June 4, 2017 at 3:50 pm
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