Pope Francis Opens Synod On Sex Abuse By Putting Foot In His Mouth

February 20, 2019 at 11:50 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Philosophy, Religion, The Occult, The Supernatural, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

This was the opening of the Vatican special synod on sex abuse.

The demons Baal and Baphomet sat in the chamber as special theological advisors to the body.

Pope Francis opened the synod by angrily waving his finger in the air and pontificating in Josef Stalinesque fashion, “Those who do nothing but criticize, criticize, criticize, criticize and further criticize the Church are friends of the Devil.”

Baphomet looked concernedly at Baal over these words.

Baal smiled reassuringly as he helped himself to a large tin of fresh unborn babies, “I think the Devil that the Unholy Father is referring to is the same Devil that the 19th Century French sorcerer Eliphas Levi referred to in his 1860 book The History of Magic and the Scottish Rite Freemasonic occultist Albert Pike referred to in his 1872 work Morals and Dogma which is the Devil is Adonai (the God of the Hebrews). Adonai and Lucifer are both God. Adonai is the dark evil side of God. And Lucifer is the lightbearing side of God.”

“That makes sense,” Baphomet tried to remain calm for the male/female human goat demon transgendered hybrid was having a bad day.

His/her breasts were lactating, his/her female genitalia was undergoing her period and his/her male genitalia kept undergoing premature ejaculations every 5 minutes.

In many ways, Baphomet’s current state was almost symbolic of the entire U.S. Democratic Party- the vast majority of whose members either knowingly or unknowingly worshipped the transgendered human goat demon hybrid.

As for Baal and Baphomet’s demonic rivals Mammon and Mephistopheles (either knowingly or unknowingly worshipped by the vast majority of U.S. Republicans), they were in the White House wondering how to get Trump out of the Oval Office and their own man Jared Kushner in.

As Pope Francis lambasted his critics for daring to criticize him and calling them “Friends of the Devil” (who may or may not be Adonai depending upon whether one is a practicing occultist or not), a group of victims of priestly sex abuse shivered in the cold out in Saint Peter’s Square wondering whether Francis would bother to meet with them.

He did not.

And Jorge Mario Bergoglio (who was anything but a true Vicar of Christ) continued to pave his way towards eventually winning the Ecclesiastical Asshole of The Millennium Award.

-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Wednesday February 20th

Pan: The Father of Baphomet who was turned to stone by the head of Medusa as he lay dying.
The stoned Pan now lies in the Vatican.


  1. George F. said,

    as he helped himself to a large tin of fresh unborn babies…quite the chilling post here Dracul. And coincidentally, my scientists’ are tipping into the occult as long last…

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      A lot of scientists do.

      Just look at Jet Propulsion Laboratory founder Jack Parsons and his friendship with Aleister Crowley.

  2. ortensia said,

    It’s been too long I don’t browse around your blog……gosh I miss your story and this one is exceptionally sharply written😎

  3. David Redpath said,

    I guess a foot in the mouth
    is better than a penis in an altar boy.
    … Especially if you’re the altar boy.

  4. David Redpath said,

    Perhaps a stoned Pan Goatee
    would make a fitting sculpture
    for the centre of Washington D.C.?

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      I think it would, David.

      Right in the dead center of Washington DC.

      To be seen by tourists along with the Capitol Obelisk, the Washington monument and the Lincoln memorial.

      • David Redpath said,

        A Memorial to the Serial Killer
        Machete Mistro Satyr! … Why not?
        Plenty of war memorials in Washington.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        There are indeed.

  5. Jessica said,

    Shivers for helping himself with unborn babies.

    and this: “His/her breasts were lactating, his/her female genitalia was undergoing her period and his/her male genitalia kept undergoing premature ejaculations every 5 minutes.”

    Umm… Eww? 🤢

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      This was actually a commentary on the state of both politics and the Catholic Church in the U.S.

      One actually says “Ewwwww…” when viewing what ‘s happening.

      Written with the intention of hoping that both politicians and the Catholic Church in the U.S. clean up their act.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: