Satanic Rock Stars, Justin Trudeau, Trump Vs. Dorian and DARPA Looks For Tunnels

August 29, 2019 at 10:57 pm (Commentary, Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Satanic Rock Stars, Justin Trudeau, Trump Vs. Dorian and DARPA Looks For Tunnels

“Teaching the doctrine of the actual real existence of Hell was the biggest defect in Jesus Christ’s character.”
-Bertrand Russell 

“So, what are you looking at on the Net?” Amadeus Emanon asked his friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

“At a news item that Lady Gaga, Ariana Grande and a bunch of other demonically inspired losers in today’s music industry are planning a rock concert Rock Stars For Murdering Babies,” Renfield replied.

“Do they intend that to be the Woodstock of the year 2019?” Inquired a shocked Amadeus.

“Oh, most likely,” Renfield nodded.

. . .

Meanwhile in Canada, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was issuing a blistering attack on Federal Conservative Party leader Andrew Scheer.

Foamed Trudeau as his head spun around 360 degrees and he spewed out French green pea soup in Linda Blair style fashion, “Mr. Scheer does not support the values of the demons Baal and Baphomet. For as we all know the values of Baal and Baphomet are Canadian values. How do we know they’re Canadian values? Because being the cultural Marxist and progressive Fascist that I am, I say that they are Canadian values. To disagree with me and my fellow anal retentive social justice warriors is high treason and constitutes hate crimes of the highest magnitude.”

. . .

In Britain, the pro-EU group Best For Britain (financed by leftist billionaire George Soros) said that in lieu of Queen Elizabeth II granting UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s request for proroguing Parliament, what happened to King Charles 1st 370 years ago in 1649 might happen to the Queen this year.

. . .

Donald Trump (speaking to the news media after having wiped cream pie off his face some 24 hours earlier), “As we all know the people of Florida face the possibility of Hurricane Dorian barrelling down on top of them over the Labour Day weekend. We in this Administration will joyously and happily give them all the support, aid and money that they need should disaster happen. After all, it’s not the people of Florida’s fault that they live in an area often hit by hurricanes. And even more importantly I own a lot of resorts and golf courses in Florida. Whereas of course I don’t own any resorts or golf courses in Puerto Rico. I could stand to lose a lot of money if anything happens to my property in Florida. This would truly be a tragedy for this great nation if that were to occur. And someday, the Norse god Thor willing, I shall own a resort and golf course in Greenland.”

Trump then boarded a helicopter where another cream pie was thrown in his face by the 6 foot 8 tall invisible bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger.

“Shit! Not again!” Trump cried out.

. . .

Yesterday Wednesday August 28th DARPA (the Defence Advanced Research Projects Agency) also known as the “Mad Scientists’ Wing of the Pentagon” put out a twitter tweet asking for a city based tunnel the size of a shopping centre with several layers and maybe even a few atriums to it be made available to them (DARPA) as soon as possible and please let them know by Friday August 30th 2019 at 5:00 PM (DARPA local time).

The strange request which only a James Bond super villain or Lex Luthor or The Joker (from Batman) would probably be able to fulfill did receive a few replies.

Someone asked if DARPA was looking for Demogorgon (a character from the Dungeons and Dragons role playing game known by his titles “Prince of Demons” and “Lord of All That Swims In Darkness”).

DARPA tweeted back that “Demogorgon was a Department of Energy thing” not a DARPA thing.

Justin Trudeau was secretly pleased by the amount of Canadian cannabis that DARPA and U.S. Department of Energy employees were consuming.

. . .

“Not believing in the actual real existence of Hell was the biggest defect in Bertrand Russell’s character.”
-Renfield R. Renfield 

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday August 29th
2019.

19 Comments

  1. Hyperion said,

    Funny you should mention my old Alma Mater, DARPA. They are truly working on some mad science for this mad world. They were recently gobbled up by the GOO’s Futures Command which is building the necessary tools for the new Space Brigade. It’s all very cool stuff. It’s rumored that copies of every Star Trek episode were sent to DARPA as part of a mandatory training program. Beam me up Scotty jokes are rampant now.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      I imagine Beam Me Up Scotty would be a very popularly sent text message in a crowded DARPA building elevator if you visited your old alma mater after eating a 10 gallon pot of hot Tabasco sauce laced chili con carne with extra pork and beans and you stepped in that crowded DARPA elevator which then became stuck between floors as Greenland’s previously unknown high tech cyberhacking team seizes control of the computer system running the elevator (and feeds it information that it’s in the wrong Lex Luthor style multilayered tunnel) and your rear end decides to let loose with its own version of the 1980s Scorpions song The Winds of Change. 😂

      • Hyperion said,

        It will be a historical moment. There will be hence forth a new meaning to the words Blastageddon, and Blastphemy. 😜💨💦🙊

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        ROTFL ! 😂

        It will give DARPA engineers stuck in that elevator the extra push and incentive they need to double down or triple down or more likely sextrillioniple down in their efforts to quickly develop a working teleportation system after that horrible experience in which they quickly reached the theological conclusion that Pope Francis was wrong in his personal doctrinal teaching on the existence (or rather non-existence!) of Hell.

      • Hyperion said,

        You’ve given me an idea 💡 I’ll initiate a project to locate Hell and blast it with cold antimatter and dark light thus turning the whole experience into a 9-ring amusement park after a bit of cleaning and refurbishing. If we are all going there we might as well enjoy ourselves. Plus the profits from the admissions cost will help pay immigrants to emigrate to a non-hell location.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        The GOO will be happy that there are no immigrants.

      • Hyperion said,

        I think the answer to America’s split personality, rampant mental illness, and mass masturbation love affairs with silicone is to have a mass emmigration where all the demented leave for Europe where they will be allowed to do as they damn well please while sucking the life out of Europe’s social services treasury. That will give the US a chance for the remaining 200 people to live a lovely life and start over again. 🧛🏻‍♂️🧛‍♀️

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I notice the remaining 200 people according to your prophetic emoticons will be vampires and vampiresses.

        Pan Goatee will truly be able to take a relaxed vacation whenever he visits the U.S.

      • Hyperion said,

        Finally, Pan Goatee and Sherrielock Holmes can relax until the rat breeding fills the place up again.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Speaking of Sherrielock Holmes and rat breeding, you’d probably enjoy the blog post I wrote last night called Anubis Raid On The Jeffrey Epstein Ranch.

      • Hyperion said,

        I shall endeavor to hurry over for a read. 😁

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        😀

  2. Judy Kim said,

    Why is Gaga popular? She can’t sing, she’s unattractive and imitates David Bowie badly, I guess having talent doesn’t matter anymore.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Your description of Lady Gaga is the best and most accurate description of Lady Gaga I’ve ever come across, Judy. 😀

      And you’re right having talent doesn’t seem to matter anymore.

      • Judy Kim said,

        I used to love music, now it’s gotten so unlistenable and cultish/bizarre, maybe the music industry was always insane but it’s just shock theater now. Gaga makes me gag gag🤮

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I feel exactly the same way.

      • Judy Kim said,

        I still listen once in awhile, my guilty pleasure of nostalgia, but it’s tainted…Tainted Love 😉!

  3. annieasksyou said,

    Good old Harvey comes through! And the Secret Service agents couldn’t see him! Well done.

    For what it’s worth: I love Lady Gaga. I think she’s versatile and talented and a charismatic performer.

    Chacon a son gout…

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, Harvey strikes again! 😀

      No, Lady Gaga is definitely not my cup of tea nor my bottle of vodka nor shot of tequila.

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