Magog Rhys Petley and Pan Goatee

August 7, 2013 at 7:10 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Magog Rhys Petley and Pan Goatee

As Magog Rhys Petley sat in his seat on the British Airways plane bound for Egypt, a man in Bermuda shorts sat next to him.

Magog noticed the man had goat’s legs and this wasn’t the feature item on the plane’s dinner menu.

Magog decided to make polite conversation,  “Has anyone ever told you that you have goat’s legs?”.

“That’s because I’m a satyr like in Ancient Greek mythology,” Pan Goatee helped himself to a martini from a passing flight attendant’s tray, “I’m half-man and half-goat.”

“Oh of course, naturally,”  Magog nodded.  He hadn’t recalled having had that much to drink in the airport lounge.

“The name’s Goatee,”  the satyr shook his martini,  “Pan Goatee.”

“Rhys Petley,” the British MP ordered a glass of buttermilk from the attractive brunette flight attendant, “Magog Rhys Petley.”

“Did you know that your body is inhabited by the spirit of a friend of mine?”  Pan Goatee asked,  “The spirit of Neb-Senu entity from planet Nibiru who sojourned in ancient Egypt eons ago and was the spirit behind the moving rotating statue in the Manchester Museum?”.  

Atheistic Marxist Magog Rhys Petley buried his head in his hands.

He started to wonder whether there wasn’t some spiritual force present in the Universe that was trying its hardest to get people to give up drinking?

When he had passed a neighbour’s apartment in the hallway recently where an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting was taking place, he had overheard the evening’s speaker say that he decided to give up drinking when he saw the 3-headed dog Cerberus walk by the window of the pub in which he was drinking.

A few nights later when he had backslidden (like a Pentecostal televangelist on his umpteenth visit to a whorehouse),  the same 3-headed dog Cerberus had appeared to him on the street and asked him for directions on how to get to the Palace of Westminster.

Magog Rhys Petley caught a glimpse of the shapely black silk nylon clad legs of the short skirted attractive brunette flight attendant as she walked past down the aisle.

Then he noticed the furry goat’s legs of the strange individual in the Bermuda shorts sitting next to him.

He sighed.

It was going to be a long trip to Cairo.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday August 7th


  1. The Dream of Dulcinea Lucia | Dracul Van Helsing said,

  2. Randstein said,

    Bwaaa haaa haaa! That visual was just too much 🙂

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      Yes, the contrast in legs would be too much to visually comprehend indeed. 😀

      • Randstein said,

        I can identify with the predicament. I almost never wear shorts as I’m conscientious about all the screaming frightened children and traumatized small mammals. Growing up, I hadn’t paid much attention to the need to avoid ugly legs in my later years. I once wore shorts in the summer in Korea and went to a popular park. There the young ladies all giggled and told their girlfriends someone should give the monkey a banana. They didn’t know I understood their language. I told them I preferred pretty girls instead and then asked if they knew where I could find some. I should have taken a picture of their expression. I’m sure I confirmed their suspicion that I was Gonad the Barbarian.

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      LOL !

      That was a good cutting remark in response. 😀

      So it was probably you who left the banana peel on the pavement in that park in Seattle that caused Dr. Frasier Crane to slip and fall in that screenplay I wrote.

      The unintended consequences of such a strategy of failure would result in the deaths of almost the entire cast of Frasier to say nothing of the death of Harrison Ford at the hands of a nymphomaniac.

      • Randstein said,

        Your story was eerily close to reality. It always goes that way. A careless toss of a banana peel (what was I thinkin’?) next thing you know Harrison Ford is boinked into the Aether and other folks are tagging along for the ride across the Styxs river wondering WTF just happened. I laughed my dangling participles off on that story. That probably means I’ve got issues but I couldn’t help myself. It was funny. 🙂

      • Nicholas C. Rossis said,

        Dammit, Randstein! I was rather fond of the good doctor!

        Great story about the Korean girls, by the way 😀

      • Randstein said,

        Whoops, sorry Nicholas! I’ve given up careless banana peel tossing. Whoda thunk it would end like that?

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      Glad you enjoyed that story, Daniel. 🙂

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      LOL ! Nicholas. 🙂

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