The Mummy, The Wolfman and The Serial Killer

August 8, 2013 at 6:14 pm (Commentary, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Mummy, The Wolfman and The Serial Killer

The flight to Cairo was indeed a long one.

Pan Goatee explained to Magog Rhys Petley that this was his first time on a plane as he usually astral projected with his astral body to various destinations all over the world.

Magog buried his head in his hands and then ordered another buttermilk from the flight attendant.

However Pan Goatee continued to drone on coincidentally at the same time a U.S. drone flew by carrying a sign that said Yemen or bust.

Pan explained that he had gone down to the airport in person to see what trouble he could cause there.

“I’m a musician by profession but serial killing is my hobby,” Pan Goatee remarked as he played on his harmonica a short piece from the theme music to Alfred Hitchcock’s movie Psycho.

“What do you do? Bore your victims to death?” Magog wondered to himself.

“So anyways I was down at the airport trying to see what trouble I could cause,” Pan droned on as the U.S. drone exploded in a self-induced suicide bombing brought on by the motormouth satyr’s constant blabbering, “and I happened to see you. And I noticed you carried in your body the spirit of my friend Neb-Senu.”

This time Magog ordered a triple whisky when the flight attendant came around again.

Pan Goatee explained that the last time he had seen his extraterrestrial and ancient Egyptian friend was when Neb-Senu had become trapped in a test tube in a doctor’s office in the West Bank town of Bethlehem.

Magog did have to wince when Pan Goatee mentioned the name of the doctor.

It was the same doctor he had visited in Bethlehem to get a shot for a possible sexually transmitted disease after he had paid a nocturnal visit to the town prostitute a beautiful and alluring and mysterious redheaded woman who called herself Lilith- a woman whom the townspeople said was a vampiress.

So Pan explained that when he saw Magog at the British Airways boarding gate to Cairo with the spirit of Neb-Senu inside the portly Welsh baritone’s frame, he decided to use a credit card from his most recent victim (his victim being dead, he would be unable to phone in to cancel it) to purchase a ticket on the same flight as Magog.

“And that’s how I’m here beside you,” Pan grinned.

Magog finished his sixth triple whisky and then despite being an atheist, said a silent prayer of thanks to Allah when the plane’s Captain announced that they’d soon be landing in Cairo.

Mercifully for Magog as well, Pan Goatee was detained by Egyptian Customs for not having a visa and so the Welsh werewolf British Labour MP was able to hail a taxi to his hotel without the obnoxious and monotonously boring and boastful serial killer following him.

But that was yesterday.

Magog awoke to the sound of The Beatles singing “I believe in yesterday…” on the alarm clock radio next to him.

He got up and went over to the dressing room table mirror (a 19th Century antique that had once belonged to a magician).

As he looked at himself in the mirror, he thought he momentarily caught a glimpse of a ghostly spectral figure of an ancient Egyptian mummy inside his body.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday August 8th
2013.

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7 Comments

  1. doesitevenmatter3 said,

    I enjoyed this chapter!
    And it takes me back to my childhood…on weekend afternoons one TV channel would play very old movies with Vincent Price, Bela Lagosi, Boris Karloff, etc…so I sat with wide eyes and watched The Wolf Man, The Mummy, Frankenstein, The Invisible Man (only I couldn’t see the Invisible Man πŸ˜‰ :-D)).
    You always gotta’ watch out for red-headed city-women…especially those named Lilith! πŸ™‚
    HUGS!!! πŸ™‚

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      Yes, I watched those old movies with Lugosi and Karloff on the late show on Friday nights on one of the local TV channels. Since there was no school the next day, I could stay up late and watch them. πŸ™‚

  2. doesitevenmatter3 said,

    Oh…I relate to Lilith as one of Adam’s wives. πŸ™‚

  3. draculvanhelsing said,

    Yes, according to medieval Jewish folklore, Lilith was Adam’s first wife. πŸ™‚

  4. The Dream of Dulcinea Lucia | Dracul Van Helsing said,

  5. Nicholas C. Rossis said,

    I wonder if Pan has now returned to his homeland, judging by recent developments.

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      Yes, Nicholas, it’s quite possible that Pan has returned to his homeland given recent developments.

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