The Femme Fatale Art Thief

November 6, 2022 at 11:11 pm (Art, Art History, Detective story, Film, Ghost Story, Gothic, Literature, painting, Poetry, The Supernatural) (, , , , )

The femme fatale art thief

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  • She was the femme fatale art thief
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  • That’s what I called her
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  • My name is Carson Cody Albion by the way
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  • I’m a ₱rivate Eye
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  • The year was 1952
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  • And the city was London
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  • I had been hired to guard a rare art ₱iece
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  • Said to have been ₱ainted by Dante in the 13th Century
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  • Dante was a man better known for his writing (i.e. The Inferno) rather than his ₱ainting
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  • The ₱ainting was more of a metallic scul₱ted relief in a frame rather than a ₱ainting
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  • It was called Joe Biden and Nancy ₱elosi Roasting In The Flames of Tartarus
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  • I’m not sure who these Joe Biden and Nancy ₱elosi characters were
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  • Two ₱eo₱le that Dante saw roasting away but didn’t think were im₱ortant enough to be worth a mention in his Inferno
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  • I saw the woman standing in front of the metallic scul₱ted relief
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  • I was ₱racticing my Raymond Chandler narrative short story telling skills as I looked at her
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  • She had the most magnificent tight skirted ass that I had ever seen
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  • Her buns showed u₱ magnificently under the tight contours of her dress
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  • like two ri₱e gra₱efruit ri₱e for the ₱icking and the ₱lucking
  • I knew I wouldn’t be gras₱ing at straws if I were to, like Shakes₱eare’s MacBeth, say,
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  • “Come, let me clutch thee”
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  • I could imagine them being so smooth, so creamy, so white
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  • I was beginning to sound like a science-fiction writer writing advertisements for Madison Avenue
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  • By the way the femme fatale art thief looked at me, I realised I had said those Raymond Chandler narrative short story telling skills out loud rather than silently in my mind
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  • She came over and sla₱₱ed my face with such vigour that I was knocked unconscious
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  • But I got off lucky
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  • She used her ₱H Unbalanced narrative short story telling skills to bore the ₱oor museum security guard to death
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  • He was found dead the next morning
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  • The coroner ruled the cause of death as Colossal Boredom
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  • And the metallic scul₱ture relief ₱ainting of Joe Biden and Nancy ₱elosi Roasting In Tartarus was gone
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  • A gy₱sy fortune teller told me that it would someday be found in the art collection of a young man named Barron Trum₱
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  • A young man who would have his ₱ortrait ₱ainted
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  • By the ghost of the man who ₱ainted the ₱icture of Dorian Gray
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  • -A Carson Cody Albion narrative ₱oem written by Christo₱her Sunday November 6th 2O22.

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  • A Marilyn Monroe Halloween

    October 13, 2022 at 8:24 pm (Detective story, Espionage, Gothic, Gothic romance, History, Literature, love, magic, Mystery, Poetry, Romance, The Supernatural) (, , , , , , , )

    Marilyn Monroe At Halloween

    It was Halloween 1954
    And Carson Cody Albion
    Knocked at the door

    Myend was what the sign on the door said

    Whoever owned the house called Yourend had fled
    So Albion had come knocking knocking on Myend’s door
    Private eye he was, no raven saying “Nevermore”.

    It was no Pallas Athena that opened the door
    But Marilyn Monroe in witch’s apparel without any gore

    A lovely witch she was with candles four
    And a lovely dress J. Edgar Hoover would die for

    Said Marilyn, “Hast thou come knocking at my entrance door?”
    Said Albion, “Thou hast knockers that defy gravity’s floor.”
    Said Marilyn, “Dost thou love me even though I be poor?”
    “I do,” said Albion, “I bought this ring at the jewellery store.”

    The curtain and the veil in the temple tore
    Baskerville hound lost its footing in the moor
    Only PH Unbalanced remained a colossal bore
    But the rest of the cosmos rejoiced encore

    What sorcery is this that has done this for?
    Love’s beating heart yet beats some more
    A tale to be told like in days of yore
    Albion entered the house as cats and dogs and rain doth pour.

    -A Carson Cody Albion poem
    and Halloween poem
    written by Christopher
    Thursday October 13th

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    Semiramis On The Night of The Hunter’s Moon

    October 9, 2022 at 10:58 pm (Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic romance, History, International Intrigue, News, Personal essays, Philosophy, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

    Semiramis the Queen of Babylon on the Night of The Hunter’s Moon

    The full moon in October is called the Hunter’s Moon.

    And Semiramis the Queen of Babylon was out standing in the moonlight in the backyard gardens and gazebo grounds of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal West London estate.

    The Queen of Babylon was not sure why she was there on this night of all nights.

    The Night of the Hunter’s Moon.

    She just felt drawn to come here tonight for some reason.

    The Hunter’s Moon, Semiramis thought.

    Interesting as she recalled her husband Nimrod of many millenia ago was called in Genesis Chapter 10 “a mighty hunter against the Lord”.

    Today Nimrod the once “mighty man” is a little green frog who is occasionally seen in the company of the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith, is also seen in the company of the cigarette smoking demon Asmodeus and also serves as an advisor to NASA on the Artemis moon rocket program (even though he knows nothing whatsoever about building moon rockets).

    Semiramis suddenly heard footsteps approaching as she stood alongside the gazebo landing.

    It was Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing approaching.

    In his right hand he carried a suitcase containing video footage of Russian President Vladimir Putin making out with various high-priced escort call girls in the Catherine The Great Moscow Hilton Hotel in downtown Moscow Russia which is owned by Madame Natasha Rachmaninoff.

    Van Helsing and Set Enterprises were hoping to use the video footage to blackmail Putin and prevent him from launching a nuclear attack on Ukraine or the West.

    Van Helsing could have sent the video footage to Set Enterprises via the Internet but thought the video footage might be destroyed by Russian hackers or the American CIA’s Science and Research Division (that had been headed by the Operation Paperclip landed immigrant Nazi vampire Dr. Eichmann Mengele since 1950) which wanted global nuclear war or Google just because the technocrats who run Google are a bunch of assholes.

    “Van Helsing,” Semiramis gasped.

    The Queen of Babylon had encountered Van Helsing on previous occasions.

    “Semiramis,” Van Helsing acknowledged the Queen of Babylon.

    “Has anyone ever told you that you’re the spitting image of Carson Cody Albion the private eye?” Semiramis asked.

    “A few people have told me that,” Van Helsing answered, “Isn’t Carson Cody Albion the private eye supposed to be immortal? In the same way that Sherrielock Holmes the lesser known twin sister of Sherlock Holmes is likewise literally immortal? Although Sherrielock became immortal as a result of eating a Lingzhi Supernatural Mushroom omelette and drinking a Lingzhi Supernatural Mushroom milkshake. I have no how idea how Carson Cody Albion became literally immortal.”

    “Rumour has it,” Semiramis answered, “that he became immortal after drinking milk from the sexy incredible well endowed breasts of my very beautiful and very young looking mother the Syro-Phoenician goddess Atargatis.”

    “Really,” Van Helsing was intrigued, “Any idea where your mother is now?”.

    “None, whatsoever,” Semiramis replied.

    Van Helsing loked disappointed.

    He’d have to continue searching for Ponce de Leon’s Fountain of Youth in Florida.

    A sudden rumble came from the night sky.

    Semiramis and Van Helsing looked up.

    It was the Celtic stag god Cernunnos chasing a demon elk.

    A couple of years ago a Calgary based geopolitical analyst friend of Renfield’s had written a blog post (out of the blue) about a demon elk seated on a throne in Rome’s catacombs who was being worshipped by a group of Cardinals and Western world political leaders.

    Today at the Spanish language evangelical church the geopolitical analyst attended a woman described an experience she had this past Tuesday where she had encountered a demonic looking elk on a highway in Idaho.

    The elk smashed her windshield and the woman had to keep her eyes closed so that the glass that covered her face wouldn’t enter her eyes and she’d go blind.

    She was rushed to hospital by ambulance where all the glass that surrounded her eyes was carefully removed and thanks to prayer and the amazing team of doctors and nurses, her eyes were saved.

    That same Tuesday the geopolitical analyst was having a dream about the Celtic stag god Cernunnos hunting a demon elk.

    He was awakened by his bozo landlord who needed to get into his room to the electric control panel in his room so he could momentarily shut off all the power in the house.

    The bozo landlord did so.

    And did so without stepping on the geopolitical analyst’s tablet that was being charged on the floor.

    However the landlord was making such a racket upstairs, the geopolitical analyst decided to go get a haircut as he needed one.

    When he got home, he was shocked to discover his tablet and his cord and plug in complete disarray on the floor as the bozo landlord had stepped all over it.

    His tablet that had a perfect appearance for years was now full of cracks.

    He had been getting severe eyestrain the past few days from trying to read and write on it.

    But that was obviously nothing to the terror that this woman in his church must have felt this past Tuesday over the fact that she could possibly go blind with her face and eyelids covered in glass from the broken windshield on her car after her car made contact with a demonic looking elk on a road in Idaho.

    Ironically enough, the geopolitical analyst had recently written a blog post about Australia’s notorious Uncle Ernie on a road in Idaho.

    And then this woman’s testimony regarding her eyes and eyesight in Church on this Sunday October 9th 2022.

    Another amazing thing is this Calgary based geopolitical analyst was raised Anglican and in the Canadian Anglican Book of Common Prayer, October 9th is the Memorial Commemorative Date of Robert Grosseteste a scholar who became the Bishop of Lincoln and died in the year 1253.

    Robert Grosseteste studied the science of optics and wrote extensively on the subject.

    He also invented the first pair of glasses ever invented in medieval Europe.

    Robert Grosseteste also taught the young Roger Bacon science.

    Roger Bacon was also the medieval philosopher who invented the Baconian scientific method (It can be found in Roger Bacon’s Magnum Opus which was one of the geopolitical analyst’s favourite books in the Medieval Philosophy class he took at the University of Alberta)).

    Scholars of the Enlightenment couldn’t handle the idea of a 13th Century Franciscan monk inventing the Baconian Scientific Method so they lied and claimed that it was the late 16th and early 17th Century Protestant and Rosicrucian Freemason Francis Bacon (who conveniently had the same last name) that came up with the Baconian scientific method.

    So in a matter dealing with eyes, a geopolitical analyst has had severe eyestrain the past week from trying to read and write on a cracked tablet, a woman almost lost her eyesight after her car windshield came crashing in during an encounter with a demonic looking elk on an Idaho highway and the geopolitical analyst found all this out in Church on the Anglican Memorial Commemorative Day of Robert Grosseteste the Bishop of Lincoln who studied the science of Optics and invented the first pair of eye glasses in medieval Europe.

    A dream about a demon elk, an actual encounter with a demonic looking elk this past Tuesday.

    Anything else?

    Well the Calgary based geopolitical analyst almost died from severe food poisoning as a kid from eating a piece of undercooked wild game animal meat from… an elk.

    “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”
    -Hamlet, Act I, Scene v, lines 167-168.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Sunday October 9th

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    Carson Cody Albion Private Eye Writes In The First Person

    August 21, 2022 at 9:39 pm (Detective story) (, , )

    So this woman was sitting in my room when I woke up this morning.

    “All your clothes are on,” I said to her.

    “And all your clothes are off,” she winked at me.

    Damn I hate it when that happens.

    “I’m glad to see you’re standing at attention while they play The Star Spangled Banner on the radio,” she smiled.

    “Well actually it was the sight of you first thing in the morning that’s made me stand at attention like this,” I answered.

    “I was hoping that would be the case,” she smoothed her skirt.

    “Do that again,” I said, “and if I was an English nobleman, you’d be able to sing those old Battle Hymn of the Republic lyrics Mine Eyes Have Seen The Glory of The Coming of The Lord.”

    “God, you certainly don’t talk like that highly forgettable writer of sasquatch murder mysteries Mister Phil Huston,” her eyes shone like a child’s on Christmas morning.

    Needless to say I was rather proud of my North Pole but answered in reply to her comment rather than her eyes, “Thank God for that. But if I ever needed to put myself to sleep rather quickly, it might come in handy to talk and write like Phil Huston.”

    “Is there anything you’d like me to do?” The woman asked.

    “Yes lie back on the bed and sing Mr. Sandman Bring Me A Dream,” I replied.

    “What ever for?” She inquired.

    “I want to see who does it better,” I explained, “Me or Neil Gaiman.”

    Thirty minutes later she was singing the Carly Simon sung theme song (from the 1977 James Bond film The Spy Who Loved Me) “Nobody Does It Better.”

    -A Carson Cody Albion
    Detective Story
    Written by Christopher
    Sunday August 21st

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    The Lounge Singer

    May 2, 2022 at 9:58 pm (Detective story, Film, History, International Espionage, International Intrigue, Short Story) (, , , , , , )

    Cantolina Aguirre the lounge singer

    It was May 1949.

    And Carson Cody Albion was sitting in a high class cocktail lounge in Los Angeles.

    The name of the lounge was The Purple Canary.

    Albion wasn’t sure whether there was such a thing as a purple canary.

    He thought most canaries were yellow.

    But then again up until 1697, most Europeans thought all swans were white.

    Then came 1697.

    And Dutch explorer Willem de Vlamingh discovered black swans in Australia.

    So maybe there are purple canaries.

    Perhaps someday one will be found on the moon.

    What made him think of the moon just now?

    His eyes and ears returned to the singer and the song.

    Cantolina Aguirre was singing the song Blue Moon.

    When the song was over, Cantolina Aguirre came and sat at Albion’s table.

    “Nice of you to sit here,” Albion smiled.

    “I’m your contact,” Cantolina explained.

    “Contact?” Albion looked puzzled.

    “Didn’t Soong Mei-ling hire you to escort weapons from the Aladdin Tea Company Warehouse to the ship Blue Tiger down at the docks?” Cantolina inquired.

    Soong Mei-ling was Madame Chiang Kai-shek the First Lady of the Republic of China.

    She was the wife of Generalissimo Chiang Kai-shek the President of China.

    The Kuomintang Chinese Nationalist government was currently in trouble and there was the possibility that China could fall to Mao Tse-tung’s Communists.

    Concerned people across the U.S. were sending arms to Chiang’s government worried that the U.S. government wasn’t doing enough.

    “She did,” Carson nodded, “but I was expecting my contact to be Chinese.”

    “I was born in Shanghai,” Cantolina answered, “My father worked at the Spanish Consulate in the city.”

    “Wow, don’t I have egg on my face,” Albion remarked after a waiter accidentally spilled Egg Foo Yung all over him.

    Cantolina gave him the passwords he was to use at both the warehouse and the loading docks for the ship Blue Tiger.

    Albion stood up to go on his mission.

    “I’ll be working here until 2 AM, ” she said as she got up to return to the stage.

    “Do you ever make love to any of your contacts?” Albion asked before leaving.

    Cantolina grabbed a napkin and wrote on it with her red lipstick.

    She then folded the napkin.

    “Here’s the answer,” she said as she handed him the folded napkin, “Don’t open it until you walk through that door again.”

    Later after Albion had completed the mission, he returned to The Purple Canary and walked through the door.

    He opened and unfolded the napkin to read her red lipstick answer to his question.


    Cantolina noticed his entrance and his unfolding of the napkin.

    She immediately began singing the song Blue Moon.

    -A Carson Cody Albion Short Story
    Written by Christopher
    Monday May 2nd 2022.

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    Carson Cody Albion and The Beauty In The Hotel Room

    May 1, 2022 at 9:50 pm (Detective story, Literature, Poetry) (, , , )

    The Beauty In Carson Cody Albion’s Hotel Room

    Carson Cody Albion Private Eye went to London town
    And discovered London bridge wasn’t falling down
    So he went back to his hotel and what he saw caused no frown
    For on his bed was a beautiful woman in a very sexy gown

    -A poem written by Christopher
    Sunday Night May 1st 2022

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    The Panther Woman and The God of Surprises

    April 22, 2022 at 11:30 pm (Detective story, Espionage, Gothic, History, Horror, Mystery, Mystery/horror, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

    Claudia Simon The Panther Woman

    Carson Cody Albion, a private eye then based in New Orleans, was spending April of 1935 visiting New York City.

    He was visiting an old college acquaintance of his who had now become an inspector in the New York Police Department.

    “Inspector Hennessy,” his secretary brought into her boss’ office the private eye from New Orleans, “a Mr. Carson Cody Albion to see you.”

    “Carson, my old friend,” the Inspector rushed to greet him.

    They discussed old times and college days.

    And how the philosopher Hegel (who they had both studied in the same philosophy course they took) was a major pain in the ass.

    However Hegel’s influence on the world was profound in the decade of the 1930s.

    Hegel, as interpreted through the lens of the left wing Hegelians particularly Marx, was influencing Bolshevism and Communism.

    Hegel, as interpreted through the lens of the right wing Hegelians particularly Nietzsche, was influencing Nazism and Fascism.

    Inspector Hennessy was then discusing cases he was working on.

    One involved a wild animal walking the streets of New York City.

    A black coloured panther with golden green eyes who ripped out the throats of its victims.

    The other involved a serial killer dressed as a clown who slashed the throats of his victims.

    Beside his victims, he left a fortune cookie that always had the same message, “Be prepared to be surprised by the god of surprises.”

    Albion said he’d help Hennessy with the case.

    As Albion walked back to his hotel, he passed a tarot card reading room.

    A very beautiful young woman dressed in the beautiful coloured blouse and skirt of a gypsy woman stood outside.

    “A reading, sir,” she smiled at him.

    “Why not?” Said Albion.

    He did not believe in tarot cards or crystal balls but he had time to kill.

    Interestingly enough the reading sort of matched the case his friend Inspector Hennessy was working on.

    When the reading was over, the lovely brunette gypsy woman smiled at him and said, “Remember, sir, it takes a thief to catch a thief.”

    Curious statement, Albion thought.

    Albion was walking by a Church – Saint Raphael’s- when he noticed the priest locking up.

    “Good evening, Father,” Albion said.

    “Good evening,” said the priest, “You’re Carson Cody Albion are you not?”.

    “Why, yes,” Albion nodded, “You know me?”.

    “I have a niece who lives in New Orleans,” the priest explained, “She’s sent me newspaper clippings about your exploits. She knows I have a weakness for detective stories- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes, G.K. Chesterton’s Father Brown and Agatha Christie’s Hercule Poirot.”

    “Excellent writers and excellent detectives all of them,” Albion acknowledged.

    “Working on a case here in New York?” The priest asked.

    Albion mentioned the panther and also the clown serial killer who called himself the God of Surprises.

    “This clown serial killer the God of Surprises is a sinister individual,” the priest crossed himself with the Sign of the Cross, “I believe he’s human but yet he’s possesed of a supernatural paranormal power that I believe is demonic in origin.”

    “What makes you think that, Father?” Albion was curious.

    “I have to go to a hospital to hear confessions but meet me here at the rectory at noon tomorrow,” the priest pointed, “It’s right next to the Church.”

    Albion agreed.

    At 2 AM Albion woke up.

    Feeling restless he decided to go for a walk.

    He walked past Saint Raphael’s Church and was surprised to see a moving van out in front.

    A moving van in the middle of the night?

    At a Church?

    The movers were moving Crosses and Crucifixes and statues of Mary and the Saints from the Church into the van.

    This is curious, Albion thought.

    He looked at the name on the van PILTDOWN AND PEKING MOVERS.

    Weird, Albion thought.

    The following morning Albion again walked in the direction of the Church.

    This time for his noon appointment with the priest rector of Saint Raphael’s at the Church rectory.

    He was surprised to see CRIME SCENE yellow tape around the Church building.

    Albion figured that possibly the middle of the night movers were in fact burglars and he Albion had neglected to stop them.

    “What’s happened here, Hennessy?” Albion asked the inspector when he saw him.

    “Well aside from the obvious theft of the Crosses and Crucifixes and statues of Mary and the Saints, the priest Father Lacroix was found dead at the altar with his throat slashed,” Hennessy stated, “along with a fortune cookie carrying the message, BE PREPARED TO BE SURPRISED BY THE GOD OF SURPRISES. Witnesses saw a clown carrying a bloodied knife flee the Church building.”

    Hennessy and Albion went to talk to the rectory’s housekeeper to see if she knew if Father Lacroix had any enemies.

    The housekeeper, an Irish woman in her mid-50s, sobbed that this clown serial killer the God of Surprises must be demonically possessed.

    That’s why the Crosses and Crucifixes and statues of Mary and the Saints were taken out so that the demonic clown serial killer The God of Surprises could enter the Church and kill Father Lacroix.

    Indeed it turned out there was no such moving company as PILTDOWN AND PEKING MOVERS.

    Albion after helping Hennessy had gone to a local public pool for a swim.

    While walking through the pool area he saw this woman.

    Albion stopped to look at her.

    “You recognize me, monsieur?” the woman spoke with a French accent.

    As a matter of fact, he had seen a sketch of her.

    In the notebook of one Barnabas Van Helsing a vampire hunter who wasn’t quite as famous as his elder brother Dr. Abraham Van Helsing.

    Back in the early 1890s the City of New Orleans had been terrorized by a wild black panther with golden green eyes who killed New Orleans citizens by ripping out their throats.

    Van Helsing had caught up with the panther who, the vampire hunter had claimed in his notebook, had shapeshifted into a beautiful woman.

    The woman, Van Helsing claimed was an immortal, who turned into a panther on certain nights.

    She was a 17th Century French noblewoman named Claudia Simon.

    Van Helsing had sketched her picture.

    Albion recognized the woman standing in front of him as being the same woman in Barnabas Van Helsing’s sketch.

    He also recalled something else.

    Something the gypsy woman had said to him yesterday.

    It takes a thief to catch a thief.

    A couple of hours later a very beautiful woman was walking through a dark neighbourhood.

    The sounds of the stilettos on her high heeled shoes clicking the pavement.

    The constant pulling up of her coat and adjusting of her skirt.

    A clown started to follow her.

    He carried a knife.

    He walked very stealthily behind her and was about to strike… when the woman suddenly turned and spun around on her heels.

    He was surprised.

    “You appear to be surprised, oh, God of Surprises,” said the woman with a most exquisite French accent.

    She turned into a panther and ripped out his throat.

    The clown shouted out several last words before he died.

    As Hennessy and Albion wrapped up the investigation, they discovered that the clown was a Jesuit priest named Father Edgar Noeticus who had studied under the French Jesuit priest paleontologist Father Pierre Teilhard de Chardin over in China.

    No one was sure when Father Noeticus had left China and when he returned to the U.S.

    However after he got his throat ripped out by the panther woman, he shouted out one final last cry, “Someday a Pope shall venerate me the God of Surprises.”

    In his right hand as he died he clutched a fortune cookie with the message BE PREPARED TO BE SURPRISED BY THE GOD OF SURPRISES.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Friday April 22nd

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    Carson Cody Albion and The Deadliest of Spies

    April 20, 2022 at 10:04 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Espionage, International Intrigue, News, Science, Sorcery, Spy Tales, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

    Carson Cody Albion Private Eye had been asked to trail and follow a female Russian spy- an assignment he was very much enjoying

    It was the spring of 1957.

    And Carson Cody Albion Private Eye was walking the sidewalks of Los Angeles.

    He had been hired to tail a female Russian spy.

    It was a tail he was very much enjoying.

    Suddenly Albion was accosted by a store detective who had noticed that the private eye was following the woman.

    “What are you?” The store detective got up close into Albion’s face, “Some sort of pervert?”.

    “No, I’m not a Hollywood producer,” Albion decked the man with his fists and knocked him out cold.

    He had lost track of the woman.

    A gentle breeze at that moment carried with it a whiff of the woman’s sensuous perfume.

    Albion was back on track.

    The woman entered an apartment building.

    Albion recognized the building.

    Janos Korda a Hungarian physicist who had fled his homeland after the failed 1956 uprising against Communist rule the year before lived there.

    Korda had found a job working at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena.

    One of the founders of the Jet Propulsion Laboratory was rocket engineer Jack Parsons.

    Jack Parsons had been back in the 1940s a disciple of English occultist Aleister Crowley.

    In early 1946 Parsons and science-fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard who was also a disciple of Crowley (Hubbard would later go on to found the Church of Scientology) worked on a series of magic rituals that they called the Babalon Working.

    The rituals invoked the spirit of the Whore of Babylon.

    Also called Babalon.

    Crowley and the two men claimed they succeeded.

    Parsons was killed in a home laboratory explosion in 1952.

    Although police felt that the 37-year-old Parsons’ death was an accident, other associates suspected it was suicide or murder.

    When Korda had arrived to work at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory, the fluent English language speaker Korda had been given a notebook of Parsons to read and analyze.

    The notes consisted of Thelemite meditation techniques (Thelema had been the name of the religion founded by Aleister Crowley).

    While meditating Korda came in contact with an entity calling itself Aiwass (the same entity that Crowley claimed to have once contacted and later sketched. The entity resembles an ET alien gray).

    Aiwass gave Korda the plans for a new type of rocket.

    Korda was so impressed with Aiwass’ plans that he wrote rocket engineer Wernher von Braun about it.

    Unfortuntately Janos Korda’s letter to von Braun was intercepted by a Communist in the U.S. Post Office (Unfortunately Wisconsin Sen. Joe McCarthy had neglected to look for Communists in the U.S. Post Office).

    The letter found its way to Soviet KGB headquarters in Moscow.

    And thus the beautiful and lovely Alexandra Murthanoccasio Popovitch was dispatched to Los Angeles to seduce Janos Korda.

    She got into his apartment.

    She got into his arms.

    And she got into his notebook (in which he had detailed Aiwass’ plans for rocketry and missiles).

    Once the notebook was in her left hand, she shot him dead with her right hand.

    Carson Cody Albion, who had stopped to buy himself a Coke from the apartment building’s Coke machine, thought that perhaps he shouldn’t have stopped to buy himself a Coke as soon as he heard the gun shots.

    He tried to finish his bottle of Coke as quickly as he could and then ran upstairs.

    When he entered the apartment, Janos Korda was lying dead on the floor and Korda’s pet budgie was saying, “The horror. The horror.”

    “Excuse me,” Albion asked the budgie, “But are you saying “The horror. The horror.” ? Or “The whore. The whore.”? Because there is a difference you know.”

    Meanwhile the lovely and beautiful Alexandra Murthanoccasio Popovitch was already fleeing down the fire escape.

    A group of Grade 7 boys from a nearby private boys’ school were already looking straight up the fire escape at the tight skirted dress lovely female spy’s descent.

    Their Art Appreciation teacher (who was a woman) who had been escorting them on a walk to a nearby art gallery suddenly broke into a lecture on the dangers of blindness (or even jail!) if one engaged in a certain physical activity (particularly in public).

    As for the notebook, it returned safely to Moscow along with the lovely and beautiful Alexandra Murthanoccasio Popovitch.

    Aiwass’ plans for the rocket were successful.

    The USSR launched the Sputnik 1 satellite a few months later.

    As for Aiwass’ missile, that took a little longer to develop.

    Until Wednesday April 20th 2022.

    When Russian President Vladimir Putin announced the launch of a new intercontinental ballistic missile.

    As he warned the West not to keep threatening Russia’s security in the Ukraine War.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Wednesday April 20th

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    Aphrodite, Los Angeles and The Munich Agreement

    January 30, 2022 at 10:57 pm (Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

    It was the evening of Thursday September 29th 1938.

    The Greek goddess Aphrodite was waiting in the apartment of Los Angeles Private Eye Carson Cody Albion.

    Aphrodite had hired Albion to find the giant sea shell from which she had been born on the island of Cyprus.

    The sea shell had been stolen from the Paphos Museum on the island of Cyprus last year.

    Rumour had it that it had been stolen on the orders of a Hollywood producer.

    Aphrodite waiting for Carson Cody Albion Private Eye

    “Did you find my birth shell?” Aphrodite asked Albion.

    “I did,” Albion took off his trench coat and fedora hat, “David O. Selznick had the shell cut up and turned into pearl earrings. So I’m afraid all the bits of your shell are now gone with the wind.”

    “But my birth shell was a cockle shell and not an oyster shell,” Aphrodite pointed out.

    “Really?” Albion blinked, “I think Selznick better have the prescription checked on his glasses.”

    The Greek goddess Aphrodite had the radio on.

    “An agreement has been signed in Munich between Germany, France, Italy and Britain handing the Sudetenland over from Czechoslovakia to Germany. British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain called the Munich Agreement “Peace in our time.” The Czechoslovak government naturally protested the deal. Germany’s Fuhrer Adolf Hitler referred to the Czechoslovak government as a small fringe minority with unacceptable views.”

    “I imagine my pen pal in the William Shakespeare Appreciation Society won’t be so happy about this,” Albion poured both Aphrodite and himself some martinis.

    “Who’s your pen pal in the William Shakespeare Appreciation Society?” Aphrodite asked as she took the martini.

    “A backbench British Conservative MP who once served as a a cabinet minister in both Liberal and Conservative cabinets,” Albion answered, “A fellow by the name of Winston Churchill. A person who actually does his own research and doesn’t believe everything the government and the media tells him.”

    Albion squeezed the hell out of a lemon and then threw it in the garbage.

    “Holy Don Quixote,” Albion noted, “That’s one sour fruit.”

    The garbage can was below an old CN Rail poster from Canada.

    “Churchill?” Aphrodite sipped her martini.

    “His opponents call him a conspiracy theorist,” Albion noted, “for believing that the German Nazi Party wants to conquer and rule the world.”

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Sunday January 30th

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    The Mexican Cantina

    December 28, 2021 at 11:05 pm (Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Short Story, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

    Rosa the singer inside the Mexican cantina

    The year was 1959.

    Richard M. Nixon was preparing to succeed Dwight Eisenhower as President the next year.

    John F. Kennedy was on the phone to Marilyn Monroe asking if she’d drop by his place on New Year’s Eve and personally sing Auld Lang Syne to him.

    Jackie Kennedy was shopping for rolling pins.

    And the Greek god Zeus was in the office of Los Angeles Private Eye Carson Cody Albion asking him to locate Ganymede the cup-bearer to the Olympian gods.

    Ganymede had apparently gone missing and was rumoured to be working inside a Mexican cantina.

    Zeus wanted Albion to find him and bring him back to Olympus.

    . . .

    “I’m tired of you Olympians always whining about your wine all the time,” was Ganymede’s good-bye note.

    Zeus wept.

    He enjoyed the immortal youth bringing him wine.

    And now he was gone.

    He went to his Rolodex and found the business card for Carson Cody Albion.

    He then summoned an eagle to fly him to Los Angeles.

    The eagle was happy.

    It was tired of eating liver all the time.

    The titan Prometheus was happy as well.

    . . .

    In the Mexican cantina called Pedro’s, Rosa was singing up a storm.

    When she had finished, she went and stood next to the piano.

    Behind her stood the Greek god Ganymede disguised as a statue.

    Carson Cody Albion had received a grape rather than an olive in his martini as he watched the show.

    The grape contained a fortune cookie saying sized message that read I DON’T WANT TO GO BACK TO OLYMPUS.

    It was signed Ganymede.

    Albion wrote Zeus a note saying that Ganymede had joined a militia of anti-Castro Cubans being put together by U.S. Vice-President Richard M. Nixon and couldn’t be located.

    Cody then went to Rosa’s dressing room and knocked on her door.

    Rosa opened the door.

    Albion entered.

    Rosa closed the door.

    In the dining area Ganymede sat wearing an I LIKE IKE button and dark sunglasses and got his palm read by a blind fortune teller.

    Mistaking Ganymede for Fidel Castro, the blind fortune teller told him that he’d one day have an idiot son who would become Prime Minister of Canada.

    And inside the dressing room, Rosa personally sang Auld Lang Syne to Carson Cody Albion.

    -A Carson Cody Albion
    Private Eye Short Story
    written by Christopher
    Tuesday December 28th

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