Dracul Van Helsing In Transylvania

January 22, 2018 at 10:14 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Dracul Van Helsing In Transylvania

The great Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was in Transylvania.

He was visiting the decaying ruins of Castle Dracula in the Carpathian Mountains near the Borgo Pass.

Accompanying him was Set Enterprises’ chief resident scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher.

The two were seeking the remains of the Wallachian voivode (or prince) Vlad III also known as Vlad Tepes also known as Vlad the Impaler but better known to Britain and the Western world as Vlad Dracula (the son of Vlad Dracul or Vlad the Dragon 🐉 who was Wallachian prince Vlad II).

Both Dracul and Dr. Rocher were in Transylvania on the advice of British MP Renfield R. Renfield who was being advised by the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill (Churchill’s ghost appeared to Renfield by leaving a painted portrait of himself in Renfield’s office whenever Renfield drank from the last bottle of brandy that Churchill ever owned).

According to Renfield and dear old Winnie’s ghost, the only way that Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan could be stopped from creating a revived Ottoman Empire thereby threatening world peace would be if Vlad the Impaler (who made a successful career out of impaling his Turkish enemies) was brought back from the dead.

Sadly for the world in the second decade of the 21st Century, Dracul Van Helsing’s great great grandfather Dr. Abraham Van Helsing had driven a stake through Dracula’s heart in the last decade of the 19th Century.

Ironically Dracul Van Helsing’s Romanian mother Nadja Draculescu was a direct descendant of Vlad Dracula.

Which made Dracul a direct descendant of Vlad Dracula as well.

So on his father’s side, he was a Van Helsing.

On his mother’s side, he was a Dracula.

When they found Dracula’s coffin in the dungeon of Castle Dracula, Dracul Van Helsing and Dr. Cadbury Rocher opened it.

Inside they found the dust that had been Dracula.

“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,” Dracul quoted from the burial service in the Anglican Book of Common Prayer.

“Son of man, can these bones live?” Dr. Cadbury Rocher quoted Ezekiel Chapter 37 verse 3.

Dr. Rocher then zapped the dust and bones with his Tesla laser particle beam flashlight helmet wearing pink rabbit Energizer Bunny.

The atomic particles and sub-atomic particles of Dracula’s body re-assembled itself.

The Energizer Bunny kept going, saying in a TV commercial announcer style voice, “It keeps going and going…”

And going and going it did.

It kept going out the door of the Castle and kept going right over a cliff.

It wasn’t in any shape to keep going once it had made its landing however.

Meanwhile Dracula now had his head and heart attached.

Dracula had risen from the dead.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday January 22nd
2018.

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Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec On New Year’s Eve

December 31, 2017 at 6:23 pm (love, News, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , )

Qonzilqointec On New Year's Eve

Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec On New Year’s Eve

Dressed in a lovely purple evening dress, the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec waited for Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing to arrive to escort her to a New Year’s Eve ball.

Dracul arrived dressed in a tuxedo.

“Cocktails before we leave?” She asked.

“An excellent idea,” Dracul took off his top hat and cane.

As they downed a champagne cocktail, Qonzilqointec made a toast, “To the New Year.”

“To the New Year,” Dracul raised his glass.

Happy New Year, everyone.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday December 31st
2018.

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Dracul Van Helsing Meets The Norse Goddess Freya

September 25, 2017 at 3:27 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

The results of the German national election were in.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel had won a 4th term in office.

But the far-right ultra-nationalist AfD (Alternative fur Deutschland) came in 3rd place in the number of seats they won in the German Bundestag.

The Norse goddess Freya knew this would amount to trouble.

Already the Germanic god Wotan (whose Norse name was Odin) was making plans with the grey wolf formerly known as Adolf to take advantage of AfD’s surprising showing.

Ever since the bloodshed unleashed by German leaders Kaiser Wilhelm II and Fuhrer Adolf Hitler during the 20th Century, Freya thought of herself as more a Norse goddess rather than a Germanic goddess.

Today she would be meeting with vampire hunter and MI-6 agent Dracul Van Helsing to discuss the German election result and AfD’s showing.

Given his background in investigating matters supernatural and paranormal, Dracul would take note of Freya’s knowledge of the dark supernatural forces involved in AfD’s upsurge in popularity among the German electorate.

Plus Dracul Van Helsing was friends with British Transhumanist MP Renfield R. Renfield believed to be Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II’s most favoured choice to become Prime Minister should a National Unity coalition government be formed in the Westminster Parliament.

Freya sat there waiting for him.

The Norse Goddess Freya

Dracul Van Helsing approached.

“Are you ready to get started?” Freya asked.

“Yes,” Dracul answered, “but only if you take me over your knee and spank me first.”

“All right,” Freya adjusted her gray mini dress for she had been expecting this request, “lay across my skirt and I’ll spank you.”

She had heard that Dracul had made this request of other goddesses and vampiresses before entering into delicate negotiations.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday September 25th
2017.

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An Aztec Vampiress, A London Car Show and The Tesla Particle Death Beam

September 21, 2017 at 3:35 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Romance, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec in her research on the subject discovered that only the Nikola Tesla Particle Death Beam would be capable of destroying the Caribbean Sea kraken Uhluhtc.

And she discovered that the Tesla Particle Death Beam was an accessory on British sanity challenged scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s new self-driving electric car The Rocher Le Pied de Hermes which was now on display at a car show in London, England.

The self-driving Rocher Le Pied de Hermes electric car had been given its first test this past spring (Please read https://draculvanhelsing.wordpress.com/2017/04/04/dr-cadbury-rocher-and-his-incredible-self-driving-car/ for details of how that test went).

Dr. Rocher had drastically improved his self-driving electric car since that disastrous first test.

He had also added a new feature to the Rocher Le Pied de Hermes self-driving electric car at the suggestion of Renfield R. Renfield (now a British Member of Parliament).

Renfield’s suggestion was for what he called a Car Owner’s Road Rage Anger Management Button.

And it was this little feature which incorporated the Tesla Particle Death Beam.

If some obnoxious other driver or a car horn pissed off the self-driving electric car’s owner, the owner or even a passenger could push the Car Owner’s Road Rage Anger Management Button

The Car Owner’s Road Rage Anger Management Button had arrows surrounding it and depending on which arrowly direction the Road Rage Anger Management Button was pushed, it would fire a Tesla Particle Death Beam either in front, either side of or the back of the vehicle and disintegrate the offending other vehicle and obnoxious driver (to say nothing of the passengers) into sweet oblivion.

Qonzilqointec enlisted the help of Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing in stealing the Tesla Particle Death Beam off the vehicle at the London car show.
Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec
Qonzilqointec plans to commit Grand Auto Theft with Dracul Van Helsing at the London Car Show

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday September 21st
2017.

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Kwan Yin, Dracul Van Helsing, Renfield and Pope Francis

September 16, 2017 at 5:56 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Kwan Yin, Dracul Van Helsing, Renfield and Pope Francis

Kwan Yin stood outside the Prince of Wales Hotel on Upper Waterton Lake.

The Buddhist Goddess of Mercy was wearing a long flowing white dress.

But she was invisible to the Calgary Fire 🔥 Department firefighters standing guard outside the hotel.

As the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith approached in the wind driving the fire towards the hotel, Kwan Yin stood holding a lotus flower 🌺in her hand.

When Lilith, wind and fire got to within 100 metres of the Prince of Wales Hotel, Kwan Yin gently blew lotus petals off the lotus flower 🌺 in the direction of Lilith, wind and fire.

Lilith immediately fell on her ass with the fire singeing the hem of her scarlet red evening dress.

“Bitch,” Lilith fumed at Kwan Yin.

“The kraken Tutsokiua must not be allowed to arise from his sleep at the bottom of Upper Waterton Lake just yet,” Kwan Yin’s voice was the supreme melody of gentleness in feminine speech.

The Buddhist Goddess of Mercy then vanished leaving Lilith to fume and smoulder along with the ashes and cinders in her hair.

. . .

North Korean despot Kim Jong-un sat in his garden surrounded by fountains, roses and piles of human skulls.

He sat on the ground in lotus position wondering how he’d ever get up again and sang a now virtually forgotten Elvis 🕺 Presley song from the mid-1960s,

“Tell me just how can I take this yoga serious
When all it ever gives to me is a pain in my posterior-us…”

Kim Jong-un made a mental note to himself to have his yoga instructor shot the next day.

In his right hand, he held a daisy flower.

The dictator was awaiting the arrival of Ahriman the Persian Zoroastrian god of evil.

As he waited, Kim pulled a petal off the daisy, saying about Donald Trump, “He loves me…”

Then with the next daisy petal pulled off, he’d say, “He loves me not…”

By the time Ahriman finally arrived, Kim had pulled the final petal off the daisy, “He loves me not…”

. . .

“What’s on your mind, Dracul?” The British Transhumanist Member of Parliament Renfield R. Renfield asked the Canadian vampire hunter.

“Well,” Dracul Van Helsing responded, “I was at a site last night which had a link that I clicked on and the link was to the on-line papal encyclical Laudato Si. It was getting late so I only read the first few paragraphs.
Now I’ve read many other Papal Encyclicals before- those written by Leo XIII, St. Pius X, Pope Pius XI, Pope Pius XII, St. John Paul II and Pope Benedict XVI.
And I must say after reading the first few paragraphs of Pope Francis’ Laudato Si, I felt like I was reading the opening paragraphs of a badly written Grade 7 Junior High School essay rather than the opening paragraphs of a papal encyclical.”

“Maybe in Pope Francis’ case, they amount to the same thing,” Renfield suggested.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday September 16th
2017.

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Boxing and The Supernatural

August 26, 2017 at 7:08 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, News, Sports, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Boxing and The Supernatural

Dracul Van Helsing was sitting in a London sports bar with the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec and the Venezuelan vampiress Francesca Chavez.

Renfield R. Renfield MP had come into the bar to watch the Conor McGregor vs. Floyd Mayweather Fight.

When he saw Dracul with the two elegantly dressed vampiresses, he turned around and left.

“I refuse to be around any ménage a trois where I’m not part of the ménage or the trois,” Renfield remarked bitterly as he walked out the door.

Dracul meanwhile was reading up about Conor McGregor’s sudden breakthrough into UFC fighting on a night in Sweden back in 2013.

And now here McGregor was in his first professional boxing 🥊 match.

He looked at McGregor’s picture and then thought of an email that Peter Whitstable the Fox Mulder of Interpol had sent him 8 years ago.

Here’s the background to that Whitstable email 8 years ago:

http://thevampiresamurai.blogspot.ca/2009/07/gordon-black-donnelly.html?m=1

Dracul told Qonzilqointec and Francesca about that email.

“So, what do you think?” Qonzilqointec asked Dracul, “Do you think this McGregor is Donelly?”.

“Yes, do you?” Francesca asked, “and if he is, that means he has boxed before.”

“I don’t know,” Van Helsing shrugged, “but it makes for an interesting story.”

Unbeknownst to the ménage a trois trio, French President Emmanuel Macron (on a private incognito visit to London) was sitting in the booth behind them listening to what they were saying.

He quickly exited and ran from the sports bar back to his hotel to pour some Grecian Formula on his hair as his hair had suddenly turned gray.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday August 26th
2017.

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The Venezuelan Vampiress Francesca Chavez

August 24, 2017 at 3:38 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

The Venezuelan vampiress Francesca Chavez sat in her hotel room in Caracas Venezuela.

To live in a five-star hotel in Caracas was the only place worth living in Venezuela ever since the disastrous Nicolas Maduro assumed power as President of the country back in 2013.

Francesca Chavez herself was a 1st cousin 3 x removed of the late former Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.

She herself had supported Chavez but had thought Maduro would turn out to be a Venezuelan Stalin.

And currently Maduro was well on his way to becoming one.

Francesca Chavez had become a vampiress back in April of this year after a night of erotic lesbian lovemaking with the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec.

Unbeknownst to either woman, the encounter had been filmed by Renfield R. Renfield (“strictly for sociological purposes” as Renfield explained to his friend Amadeus Emanon when he caught him watching the video).

Renfield and the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec had been in Venezuela at the time plotting a coup to overthrow Nicolas Maduro.

The trip and coup planning were cut short when British Prime Minister Theresa May called a snap UK General Election and Renfield returned home to run as a candidate for the British Transhumanist Party.

Now Britain’s MI-6 had sent Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing to Caracas Venezuela on a fact finding mission to determine just how bad the political situation in Venezuela currently was.

Van Helsing entered the hotel room and saw the Venezuelan vampiress Francesca Chavez sitting there:
Venezuelan Vampiress Francesca Chavez
Van Helsing stood there totally transfixed.

“Hello there,” Francesca threw back her blonde hair and smiled at him, “how shall we start?”.

“Well,” said Van Helsing, “you can start by taking me across your lap and giving me a bare bottom spanking.”

“All right,” she said somewhat taken aback, “if that’s how MI-6 conducts business these days.”

“It is under my watch,” Van Helsing answered.

So that is what then happened.

. . .

British Transhumanist MP Renfield R. Renfield was trying to contact Dracul Van Helsing on his mobile phone to get an update on the political situation in Venezuela prior to Renfield giving a speech to the UK Parliamentary House Committee On Foreign Affairs.

But he couldn’t get a hold of him.

“I imagine he’s up to something kinky with the Venezuelan vampiress Francesca Chavez,” Renfield remarked angrily to Amadeus.

“And you’re naturally jealous because it isn’t you instead,” Amadeus remarked quietly while munching on potato chips.

“That’s besides the point,” Renfield harrumphed.

Renfield went down to the Committee meeting and instead of speaking on Venezuela, he spoke on the removal of Confederate statues in the U.S. instead.

Said Renfield,

Pat Buchanan has called the groups wanting to remove Confederate statues in the U.S. the Secular Socialistic Taliban (the Taliban of course blew up ancient statues of Buddha in Afghanistan and ISIS destroyed an ancient Temple at Palmyra). The Secular Socialistic Taliban operate under the delusion that the sole reason for the Civil War was slavery (ignoring Lincoln’s own statement that he himself would preserve slavery if it would preserve the Union- he only sought to openly abolish slavery after the Southern states voted to secede anyways)- conveniently forgetting that another reason for the Civil War was the huge tariffs northern states were slapping on products of southern states.
Now the Secular Socialistic Taliban are opening up their stupid brainless mouths up in Canada wanting to remove the name Sir John A. MacDonald from all schools in Ontario (Sir John A. MacDonald was Canada’s first Prime Minister) claiming MacDonald practiced genocide against Canada’s indigenous people- a lie of course. But then groups like Antifa and their Secular Socialistic Taliban allies believe lies as much as the Ku Klux Klan and Neo-Nazis do.

The remarks did not go over well with the rest of the MPs on the committee who like most politicians were gutless and spineless when it came to political correctness.

Renfield received an angry phone call from Canada’s liberal progressive cultural Marxist Prime Minister Justin Trudeau who did not like what was said in the remarks to the UK Foreign Affairs Committee.

Renfield told Mr. Trudeau, “Go fuck yourself.”

To which a stunned Justin Trudeau said, “I don’t think that’s physically possible.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday August 24th
2017.

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London Swings Like A Pendulum Do: The Tower of Big Ben

August 17, 2017 at 8:13 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Romance, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel, western) (, , , , , , , , )

London Swings Like A Pendulum Do: The Tower of Big Ben

Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing had received an urgent text message from the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec.

Apparently Qonzilqointec had always wanted to make out underneath the bell of Big Ben in the famous London clock tower that people also called by that name.

Now the Aztec vampiress had just found out that the Big Ben clock tower would be undergoing renovations for the next 4 years and the bell would fall silent following the chimes at noon next Monday August 21st.

She asked Dracul to meet her underneath the bell at the clock tower between 7 and 8 tonight so they could make out.

“I’ve got to go,” Dracul explained the whole situation to Amadeus Emanon whom he was having tea ☕️ with.

Dracul exited the tea shop.

Amadeus’ iPhone went off.

“Hello?” Amadeus answered.

“Hello, Amadeus?” It was Renfield R. Renfield, “I’ve lost Dracul’s mobile phone number. Is he still there with you?”.

“No, he’s gone to the Tower of Big Ben to make out with the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec underneath the bell since they’re going to silence the bell for the next 4 years starting next Monday,” Amadeus unwrapped and ate a chocolate covered peanut shaped replica of the Dr. Who TARDIS Police Call Box Public Phone Booth.

“Wow, some guys have all the fun,” Renfield remarked as the Simon and Garfunkel song The Sounds of Silence played on the radio behind him.

. . .

Cardinal Walter Kasper was walking through the halls of the Vatican when a statue of Our Lady of Fatima crashed down right beside him.

“Oh well,” Cardinal Kasper looked at his watch ⌚️ 7:06 PM, “No great loss.”

. . .

The great South African artist SAREJESS was having another dream.

He dreamed that the Tower of Big Ben in London was sending out a great searchlight signal that read 1001 Positions of the Kama Sutra.

He saw Dr. Who’s TARDIS Police Call Box Public Phone Booth flying through the air.

He saw the Greek god Ares dressed in a full suit of armour prepared for war and sailing on the Ship of Hades (a ship he had recently painted a few weeks ago) at sea.

He saw North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un wearing a top hat 🎩, tux, tails and cane and tap dancing while holding hands with Bob Hope and Bing Crosby singing Thanks For The Memory while the clock struck midnight at Rick’s Cafe Americain in Casablanca.

He saw Donald Trump shampooing his hair and a barrel of monkeys falls out of it.

He saw the three-headed dog Cerberus biting a scythe holding Father Time on the buttocks.

He saw Ares trying to shove a large tornado shaped vortex into a small bottle.

He saw a red dress wearing red headed woman standing in the middle of snow ❄️ in the middle of a forest and firing two unusual looking armed weapons.

The woman (although a redhead) looked like Serena the blonde he had seen in the room with Belvedere on the 2nd floor of The Wild Tomatoes and Mushroom Saloon in that dream he had a few weeks ago where an Egyptian Pharaoh looking Orson Welles had come out of a Cuckoo Clock on the room’s wall.

. . .

British Prime Minister Theresa May was just walking below the clock tower of Big Ben at Westminster when a pair of very sexy red lingerie Victoria’s Secret panties fell down on top of her head.

“Nice looking panties, Mrs. May,” British Transhumanist MP Renfield R. Renfield remarked as he walked by.

“They’re not mine,” Mrs. May’s blushing 😊 red face could not be seen under the red panties.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday August 17th
2017.

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Dracul Van Helsing and Cassandra Sibylline In Rome

August 6, 2017 at 3:37 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Canadian vampire hunter and MI-6 Diablos Nocturna Division spy Dracul Van Helsing had received a lengthy email from his friend Peter Whitstable the man they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol.

According to Whitstable’s information and sources, the Norse wolf Fenrir had apparently thrown up the head of Hecate (the Greek goddess of witchcraft) on the Temple Mount.

The regurgitation of the witchly head had led to rioting and fighting between Jews and Palestinians on the Temple Mount.

When it was time for supper, both Jews and Palestinians went home leaving the Temple Mount vacant.

It was during this brief interlude of quiet that a Jesuit priest by the name of Father Mundum Contra Athanasius (who was one of Pope Francis’ leading theological advisers) found the head and took it back to Rome with him.

Peter Whitstable was now wondering what had happened to the head.

He suspected that one of Rome’s leading spiritist mediums Cassandra Sibylline (who served as psychic adviser to many of the Curia based Cardinals in Rome) might possibly know where the head of Hecate now was.

“I think you’d enjoy meeting Cassandra Sibylline,” Whitstable had told Van Helsing, “I want you to meet with her and use your Adonis like charm to get her to tell you where the head of Hecate is now located.”

Van Helsing looked at his watch.

This was the spot all right.

The ancient stairwell near the Fountain of Caligula.

And there she was.

Cassandra Sibylline in all her vestal virgin glory.
Cassandra Sibylline On Steps of Ancient Roman Stairwell

“So you want to know where the head of Hecate is now located, do you, Mr. Van Helsing?” She laughed, “I refuse to talk.”

“We have ways of making you talk,” Van Helsing quoted a Nazi villain from those old time movies.

He mounted Cassandra Sibylline on the steps right then and there and made wild passionate love to her.

A group of Japanese tourists on a tour bus just above them had a field day taking pictures of the event and posting them to Facebook and Instagram.

“All right, all right,” she gasped after she had orgasmed for the 1001st time, “the head of Hecate was given to Cardinal JM (the member of the College of Cardinals who worships the ancient Greek god Zeus). He placed the head behind the High Altar of Saint Peter’s Basilica.”

“Unholy abomination of desolation, Batman,” Dracul Van Helsing paraphrased Robin the Boy Wonder from the old 1960s TV series Batman.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday August 6th
2017.

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The Hamburg G-20 and Renfield’s Return To Britain

July 9, 2017 at 5:31 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

The Hamburg G-20 and Renfield’s Return To Britain

At the recent G-20 Summit in Hamburg, Germany, a protestor shouted at Donald Trump, “Your daughter Ivanka would make a better President than you.”

To which the Donald responded much to the protestor’s shock, “You’re probably right.”

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was then asked by a protestor, “If I shot and killed a U.S. soldier, would you give me $10.5 million like your government gave Omar Khadr?”.

“You don’t understand this is a Canadian Charter of Rights issue,” Justin blubbered before taking his shirt off to pose for a selfie with a young pretty German fräulein.

“Are you sure this wasn’t just a major bimbo eruption on the part of your government?” The Niburuan ET gray Gali-Gula asked him.

Justin gave him the finger.

Gali-Gula looked down and thought to himself, “That’s what I get for wearing this I Love Alberta t-shirt that I bought on my recent trip to Alberta.”

A Canadian reporter in the crowd remembered the words of wisdom that the learned historical archivist Jack Morrow (son of the late 1st Chief Justice of the Northwest Territories Mr. Justice W.G. Morrow) said at the time that Pierre Elliot Trudeau repatriated the Canadian Constitution with an entrenched Charter of Rights back in 1982, “Well now that the overaged Marxist flower child Pierre has repatriated the Constitution with an entrenched Charter of Rights, soon the only Canadians with rights left in the country will be criminals and perverts.”

With the awarding of $10.5 million to the terrorist Omar Khadr by the Justin Trudeau government, the learned Jack Morrow’s prophecy had come true.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel was asked how she enjoyed the sauerkraut and sausages in Hamburg.

“Loved it,” she replied.

. . .

Newly elected British Transhumanist MP Renfield R. Renfield had finally returned to Britain after what he described “as a successful personal Tour de France.”

“What was the purpose of your visit to France?” A reporter asked the new politician described as “Britain’s most dynamic ” in comparison to such fossils as Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn.

“To establish better relations with the French people,” Renfield shoved some condoms back in his pants pocket that seemed to insist on falling out.

“What political figure do you most feel a kinship to?” Another reporter asked.

“John F. Kennedy,” Renfield finally got the condoms back in place.

“What did you think of the anti-capitalist protestors at the G-20 Summit in Hamburg?” A BBC reporter asked Renfield.

“They should have used real cannons on them instead of water cannons,” Renfield replied.

“What do you think of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau?” A Globe and Mail reporter asked Renfield.

“The man’s a total ass,” Renfield answered, “It’s my friend Dracul Van Helsing who really should be Prime Minister of Canada.”

Watching the press conference on television, the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec inwardly agreed.

Somehow she’d find a way to make Dracul Van Helsing Prime Minister of Canada.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday July 9th
2017.

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