Ichabod and Ickabob
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was flying over Australia in the Set Enterprises’ dirigible airship The Wild Colonial Boy.
This airship like all of Set’s airship fleet was very eco-friendly and environmentally friendly and was powered by a cannabis engine.
The Wild Colonial Boy however ran on a very special high octane form of cannabis.
This cannabis had been developed by Australia’s notorious Uncle Ernie back at the Hotel California in the Summer of ’69.
A large amount of this cannabis managed to eventually find its way into a Vancouver apartment that was rented out in 1978 by Canadian singer Bryan Adams.
Which was a good thing.
Because the recipe for this type of cannabis was immediately forgotten by Uncle Ernie right after he made it.
The same was the case for every other type of drug made by Uncle Ernie.
As those who suscribe to Uncle Ernie’s Drug of The Day Uberhigh Club by mail say, “You never get the same type of drug from Uncle Ernie twice.”
Seeds from Uncle Ernie’s Summer of ’69 Hotel California cannabis eventually found their way to auction at Sotheby’s in London in the summer of 2021.
Where they were purchased by the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set beating out both George Soros and Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad Bin Salman in bidding.
And now Renfield was flying around the world from London England to Sydney Australia in just 10 minutes using the super power octane like cannabis engine that ran on Uncle Ernie’s Summer of ’69 Hotel California cannabis.
Uncle Ernie had beat NASA, Jeff Bezos, Sir Richard Branson and Elon Musk all to Hell.
By powering a 1930s style very old fashioned dirigible.
And not even knowing it.
As he stood on an empty Sydney stage in a near empty Sydney theatre singing the title role of his drag queen Cumelita as he was unintentionally setting his girdle on fire.
The only person in the Sydney theatre was Daniel Andrews the Neo-Stalinist and Neo-Maoist tyrant Premier of Victoria state a neighbouring state of the state of New South Wales (New South Wales’ capital was Sydney).
Andrews being a globalist elitist and not a mere simple pleb was not subject to his own draconian lockdown rules (or anyone else’s for that matter).
He sat in the theatre not wearing a mask or pants or even a condom as he sat pleasuring himself like American children’s show TV host Pee-wee Herman in a porno theatre.
The seat would of course have to be steam cleaned afterwards.
. . .
Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher was showing his boss the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set blown up and magnified images of what was on microscopic slides showing samples from both the Moderna and Pfizer “vaccines” (really mRNA genetic serums) for the Wuhan CCP virus (called Covid-19 by the pro-Communist WHO World Health Organization).
The nanobots and nano-organisms in the “vaccine” were magnified an infinite number of times.
An octopus like micro-organism moved itself off the slide in one sample.
And another octopus like micro-organism moved itself off the slide in another sample.
“The Set Enterprises’ Intelligence Unit is investigating the possibility that Bill Gates’ paid help managed to extract DNA from Cthulhu,” Dr. Rocher explained.
“And it’s through this,” Set asked, “that my brother and brother-in-law Osiris (so beloved by Freemasons everywhere) intends to rule the world?”.
Dr. Rocher nodded.
“And do you have a name for this octopus like micro-organism?” Set inquired.
“I call it Ickabob,” Dr. Cadbury Rocher answered.
. . .
The ghost of Orson Welles was reading a huge leather bound volume on Vampires and Ghosts that he had borrowed from the personal library of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.
“Did you know that Katrina Van Tassel became a vampiress?” Welles asked Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.
“She did?” Dracul was shocked, “Katrina Van Tassel who was fought over by two men the mortal schoolteacher Ichabod Crane and the ghostly Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow?”.
“That’s right,” Welles nodded as he sipped a ghostly glass of spectral red wine.
“I don’t drink… wine,” the voice of Bela Lugosi could be heard coming from the nearby television set which was showing the 1931 film Dracula.
“How did she become a vampiress?” Van Helsing asked.
“Dracula was visiting upstate New York at the time and gave her a hickey,” Welles answered.
When Van Helsing went back to his London apartment, he found vampiress Katrina Van Tassel inside.
Katrina Van Tassel
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday October 10th
2021.
Red October
“Where do you want the Houdini-Tesla-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr Magic Lantern to take you?” The ghost of Orson Welles asked his companion.
“I’ll let you decide,” his companion answered.
“All right,” Welles’ ghost sipped a spectral glass of spectral red wine and spun the globe of the world in the Set Estate Library.
Welles put his finger down.
“Ah,” said Welles, “That’s a nice place. Very nice place.”
Welles reached into the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s glass jar coin collection (of coins dating back to the 1500s from various nations in the world) and pulled out a coin.
“Ah, a very recent time but that might be okay,” Welles stated.
He pushed the button on the Houdini-Pantages-Tesla-Welles-Lamarr Magic Lantern Film Projector.
This magic lantern could be used for time travel.
As Welles’ ghost and his companion flew through the space and time continuum, Welles remarked, “Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster is referring to this month we just left as Red October 3.0. Do you know what he means by that?”.
“Well,” his companion answered, “The first Red October was October 1917 when Russia went Bolshevik Communist. And the second Red October… or Red October 2.0 is October 1949 when mainland China went Communist and became the People’s Republic of China. Red October 3.0 is October 2021.”
“So who will go Communist this time?” Welles lit himself a cigar.
“The United States of America,” his companion answered, “according to Michelangelo.”
“So here we are,” Welles announced, “Hawaii, October 2009.”
“Sometime between October 15th and October 25th 2009,” his companion read the sign.
“Do you have any idea who that very beautiful young woman is?” Welles inquired.
“That’s Q’orianka Kilcher,” his companion answered, “She played the last Crown Princess of Hawaii, Princess Ka’iulani, in the movie Princess Ka’iulani that came out that year of 2009.”
“I see,” Welles sipped his wine.
“October 15th to 25th, 2009,” his companion reflected, “My dad would have still been alive then.”
“Your dad?” Welles blinked.
“He collapsed to the floor while shaving in the bathroom on May 18th 2010 and had to be rushed to the hospital by ambulance,” his companion recalled, “he died less than a month later on June 16th 2010.”
“I see,” Welles finished his wine and looked around for another glass.
“One of the many strange things he said to me before he died was, Chris, fight Red October,” his companion said.
“Did he explain what he meant?” Welles asked.
“No, he never did,” his companion looked again at the sign.
“In the meantime, let’s go see a movie,” his companion suggested, “At least in this month and this year, we don’t need a vaccine passport to get in.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday October 1st
2021.
Renfield’s Podcast For June 23rd 2021
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing another Monday night podcast.
He started out by showing a news video clip of U.S. President Joe Biden that was not being shown by the mainstream media.
In the video clip, Biden stood at the podium and said that he had a message that he’d like to give the Taliban.
Biden then started skipping and jumping and doing a little dance.
He broke out in a song that was a paraphrase of an old classic Harry Belafonte song.
Biden singing,
“Hey Mr. Taliban,
You might think that I’m bananas,
Daylight come and I want to go home…”
Biden then slips on a banana peel and falls off the stairs.
“Thank you, President Biden,” Renfield remarked.
Renfield then went on to his next piece.
“The provincial New Democratic Party government of the Canadian province of British Columbia fully embraced the spirit of the Antichrist and the Mark of the Beast system of Revelation Chapter 13 earlier today,” Renfield read the news item, “announcing that it is introducing a vaccine passport system for all sporting events and concerts, all indoor and outdoor dining, and all non-grocery retail stores as well as private home parties.”
A video is then shown of the demons Mephistopheles, Moloch, Baal and Baphomet parachuting into the province of British Columbia as Alberta’s leading Neo-Bolshevik Communist demagogue Dr. Joe Vipond (who was currently vacationing in the town of Invermere, British Columbia) went into a state of orgasm.
“And here making the announcement we have British Columbia’s pompous, arrogant and self-righteously smug Neo-Stalinist Premier John Horgan,” Renfield introduced the next video clip.
The obnoxious face of British Columbia’s pompous, arrogant and self-righteously smug Neo-Stalinist Premier John Horgan then appeared on the screen.
Pontificating like he was a flaky West Coast Pope Francis, Horgan said, “If you want to participate fully in the social and economic life of our community, you must be vaccinated.”
A video clip is then shown of Nazi Germany’s Fuhrer Adolf Hitler waving his arms wildly and foaming at the mouth as he addressed a 1930s Nuremburg rally.
He speaks and English subtitles are shown on the screen, “If you want to participate fully in the life of our nation, you must be Aryan.”
Renfield then appears again, “By the way speaking of Nuremburg, according to the Nuremburg Code of International Law brought in after the war, there must be absence of coercion in being subject to medical experimentation. A principle currently being violated by every single government in the so-called Western democracies.”
Renfield then quoted Saint Thomas Aquinas in his Summa Theologia on the legitimacy of tyrannicide (the killing of a tyrant).
Renfield then called for the assassination of John Horgan.
The British MP then went on to his next news item.
“The following was an actual headline on the Orwellian Ministry of Truth and New World Order Ministry of Propaganda Global News Calgary 6 O’ Clock News tonight,” Renfield read, “A rare new disease has been discovered which is found only in vaccinated people (a video clip shows a woman walking almost like a spider except of course she has only two legs to do it while attempting to walk like a spider) and even though the disease is found only in vaccinated people, health experts say it’s not the vaccination that’s causing it.”
Renfield lets that headline sink in to his audience.
Renfield continued, “I’m reminded of what the great Canadian historical archivist and researcher Jack Morrow said in a recent email about cutting off funding to schools and universities since they only turn out retards these days. Or as the great Malcolm Muggeridge once put it, “Our society has overeducated itself into imbecility.” A virus of extreme stupidity seems to have struck these people that the mainstream media has given the epithet “health experts”. I can only imagine what Sherlock Holmes would have to say to these people. They make actor Nigel Bruce’s portrayal of Dr. Watson in the 1940s Universal Studios Sherlock Holmes films look like a positive genius when compared with these bozos.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday August 23rd
2021.
Immortal and forever young Vril Society medium Maria Orsic fleeing Nazi Germany towards the end of World War II.
Today she’s joined with vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing in battling Vaccinazis.
Apocalypse Now?
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was sitting in a hotel in the City of Red Deer, Alberta, Canada which was half-way between Edmonton and Calgary (which were Alberta’s two largest cities)
He was sitting in bed wearing a t-shirt that had on it a large photo of Joe Biden falling down the steps of Air Force One.
The t-shirt had on it the slogan NOT MY PRESIDENT.
The TV was on.
It showed thousands of terrified Afghans running across the tarmac of Kabul Airport.
“It looks like Joe Biden’s Saigon moment is going to be a long nightmare for many,” Renfield noted.
The TV News then related a news story about mandatory vaccines becoming an issue in the Canadian Federal Election.
On the streets of Toronto, Ontario, the camera showed a woman anti-vaxxer shouting at Justin Trudeau, “You’re a fucking moron.”
“Well, that woman certainly knows how to call a spade a spade,” Renfield opened up a can of beer.
Meanwhile the People’s Republic of China was organizing a huge armada of naval ships, missiles, planes and attack helicopters and tanks across the Straits from Taiwan.
“No doubt the CCP regime in Beijing has deduced correctly that there’s now a wimp in the White House,” Renfield thought.
Meanwhile Joe Biden was on the phone to Xi Jinping where he said, “I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.”
Renfield received a call on his smart phone from a friend of his a former Mossad operative called The Controller of The Golem.
The Controller of the Golem whose first name was Nathan had resigned from Mossad last year after he had found out that Jeffrey Epstein was indeed a Mossad operative and that the Mossad hire-ups had used Epstein’s compromising videos of influential people in compromising positions with young girls to blackmail certain U.S. politicians, businesspeople and scientists into doing Israel’s will.
It was a Mossad operative called the Star of Azazel (an operative that Nathan had never personally liked or gotten along with) who had overseen the whole Jeffrey Epstein operation.
Now Nathan was phoning Renfield to alert him to Star of Azazel’s latest plans that the Controller of The Golem was told of by anonymous colleagues of his that still worked with Mossad.
According to Nathan’s colleagues, Star of Azazel was trying to convince Israeli Prime Minister Naftali Bennett to drop atomic bombs on Tehran, the holy city of Qom and several other important Iranian cities.
Since Iran was only weeks away from the uranium enrichment necessary to develop nuclear weapons, there had been talk in high level Israeli political and intelligence circles of launching pre-emptive strikes on Iranian nuclear facilities and defense installations.
Now however since the American President had shown himself to be a wimp when it came to supporting America’s allies, Star of Azazel had told Bennett that Israel could no longer rely on America for support.
And that a stronger measure was now necessary to deal with Iran.
And that stronger measure Star of Azazel was calling for involved Israel full out nuking Iran.
“These are insane times in Israel and the world,” The Controller of The Golem told Renfield who already knew that, “So it’s possible that the Israeli cabinet might agree to Star of Azazel’s insane suggestions.”
After finishing his conversation with the Controller of the Golem, Renfield decided to call his friend Dracul Van Helsing for advice.
Dracul Van Helsing however was currently engaged in an encounter with Athena the Greek goddess of wisdom.
And Athena was dressed up as Klondike Kate the Yukon Klondike Gold Rush’s most famous saloon dancing girl.
Greek goddess Athena dressed as Klondike Kate
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday August 17th
2021.
Thessalonike of Macedon Meets Dracul and Yaldabaoth
Thessalonike of Macedon
Prof. William Charles an Associate Professor of Mythology, Folklore, Vampirism, Lycanthropy and Paranormal Studies at Oxford University was delivering a lecture in front of a fountain with a statue of a mermaid inside the fountain.
Prof. William Charles was delivering the lecture to a camera as part of an on-line course that he was teaching.
Said Prof. Charles, “Now there is a popular Greek legend that says Alexander the Great’s half-sister Thessalonike of Macedon became a mermaid and lived and frolicked in the Aegean Sea for hundreds of years.
The legend states that Alexander the Great in his quest for the Fountain of Immortality managed to get a flask of this immortal water.
He happened to wash Thessalonike’s hair with this flask of immortal water.
For Alexander had foolishly forgot to bring along the bottle of shampoo that his half-sister Thessalonike had asked for.
Not wanting Thessalonike to throw a major spaz attack as a result of his blundering, Alexander used the flask of immortality water to wash his half-sister’s hair instead.
When Alexander the Great died in the Persian capital of Babylon in June 323 BC, the legend says that his grief-stricken sister attempted to end her life by jumping into the sea.
Instead of drowning, however, she became a mermaid passing judgment on mariners throughout the centuries and across the Seven Seas.
To the sailors she encountered, she would always pose the same question, “Is Alexander the King alive?”.
To which the correct answer would be, “He lives and reigns and conquers the world.”
Given this answer, she would allow the ship and her crew to sail safely away in calm seas.
Any other answer would transform her into a raging Gorgon bent on sending the ship and every sailor on board to the bottom of the sea.”
. . .
“So that was how the German battleship Bismarck was actually sunk to the bottom of the sea?” British Prime Minister Boris Johnson was reading the top secret report on the sinking of the Bismarck that was finally being released over 80 years after the incident had happened back in May of 1941.
“It looks like Johnny Horton’s ghost will have to rewrite the lyrics of his hit song Sink The Bismarck,” An eavesdropping British MP Renfield R. Renfield (who had wiretapped Boris Johnson’s office) quipped.
“Who would have thought that it was a mermaid?” Amadeus Emanon ate a plate of sweet and sour jumbo shrimp, “And Alexander the Great’s half-sister at that.”
. . .
Meanwhile as animals at the Denver Zoo in Colorado were now being injected with Covid vaccines as part of the Biden Administration’s MAKE AMERICA WOKE AGAIN efforts, a demon possessed marine biologist had injected the mermaid Thessalonike of Macedon with a Covid-19 vaccine in the Aegean Sea.
The end result of the injection was that it had turned Thessalonike of Macedon into a mortal woman again.
And it was in that form that Thessalonike of Macedon had appeared to Dracul Van Helsing and Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun on a pier on the Aegean Sea.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday July 8th
2021.
Morgan Le Fay
Picture of Morgan Le Fay
“So you’re trying to track down the original painting that appears at this website?” British MP Renfield R. Renfield asked Dashwood Forrest the owner and curator of the Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London.
“I am,” Forrest nodded, “I’ve come across sketches of this portrait in various books and they say it’s a portrait of Morgan Le Fay.”
“The Arthurian era enchantress?” Renfield sipped a martini, “But the woman in this portrait looks like a woman of the 1930s judging by her hairstyle and style of dress. I thought Morgan Le Fay died back in the Arthurian era.”
“There were rumours that back in 1930 an archaeologist found her grave on the Isle of Avalon not far from Glastonbury and a spiritist medium friend of the archaeologist used her incredible occultic powers to bring Morgan Le Fay back from the dead,” Forrest explained.
“And someone in the decade of the 1930s painted her picture?” Renfield finished his martini.
“Yes,” Forrest nodded.
“I wonder who?” Renfield looked at the website photograph of the painting as Forrest shrugged.
. . .
The ghost of Winston Churchill and the ghost of Orson Welles were sitting in comfortable armchairs in the living room of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal West London estate.
Both were smoking spectral cigars.
Churchill was sipping a spectral brandy.
And Welles was sipping a spectral glass of spectral red wine.
“Anyways,” Churchill continued with his story to Welles, “In my painting career, I painted in various different painting styles. I once painted what looked to be in style a black and white photo of Morgan Le Fay but it was actually a painting. One I must say I was exceptionally proud of. Sadly, Clementine didn’t like it and gave it away to someone. She wouldn’t say who. She didn’t want me to get it back. I think Clementine was jealous of Morgan Le Fay’s exceptional beauty.”
“Do you mean Morgan Le Fay the Arthurian era enchantress?” Welles almost spilled his spectral glass of spectral red wine all over his ghostly suit, “But I thought she died back in Arthurian times.”
“She was apparently brought back from the dead in 1930,” Churchill explained.
“Is she still alive today?” Welles asked.
. . .
“Is this seat taken?” The beautiful and attractive young woman asked Dracul Van Helsing in the Saint George’s Pub.
“No, it most definitely is not,” Van Helsing answered.
The woman sat down in the pub booth directly across from Dracul Van Helsing.
Her dress, her fur covering, her necklace, her gloves, her hairstyle and appearance seem to have been accurately and prophetically depicted by one Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill many decades ago.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday May 21st
2021.
Charlotte In The Dance Studio
Charlotte in the dance studio
Vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing entered the room known as the dance studio in the English country manor and estate he had been staying in for the past week.
The country squire and his wife who owned the estate were big fans of Latin and Ballroom Dancing.
And therefore owned their own dance studio.
“Hello, Miss Charlotte,” Van Helsing said to the woman as he entered the dance studio.
“Hello, Mr. Van Helsing,” Charlotte smiled.
“Is the ghost of the Emperor Napoleon around?” Van Helsing asked.
“He’s apparently down in London to see Trafalgar Square,” Charlotte answered.
“Well, that should prove interesting,” Van Helsing commented.
“And Squire Hawkins and his wife are visiting relatives,” Charlotte noted.
“So we’re alone on the Estate then?” Van Helsing sat down on a chair.
“Andrea Angelicus the Phoenix woman is not around?” Charlotte inquired.
“No, she’s darting back and forth across the globe,” Van Helsing explained, “And using the Houdini-Tesla-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr Magic Lantern projector for time travel.”
“Time travel?” Charlotte was curious.
“Yes, by time traveling, she gave lasting fame to an artist who died young by the name of Henri Gris,” Van Helsing explained, “By posing for his most famous portrait painting entitled The Woman of Midnight. The painting has now been acquired by the Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London and will soon be available for public viewing.”
“So, seeing as how we have the house to ourselves, what shall we do, Van Helsing?” Charlotte asked.
“Dance,” Van Helsing smiled as he put on an old LP record of Johann Strauss’ The Blue Danube.
. . .
Set Enterprises’ eccentric scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague was walking the streets of London with Extremely Curious George the stegosaurus who was genetically created by Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher.
“Well, George,” Dr. Montague commented, “We seem to be getting a lot of stares from passers-by today. It must be this Armani suit I’m wearing that was a gift to me from Jerry Seinfeld. And no doubt that spiffy and colourful looking bow tie you’re wearing is drawing a lot of attention as well.”
They walked by 10 Downing Street where British Prime Minister Boris Johnson was standing at a podium in front of the door to the residence shooting his mouth off about something or other.
Extremely Curious George stood next to Johnson briefly and opened his mouth in a big wide yawn as the Prime Minister was talking.
The photo that was taken of the moment went viral on social media.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday May 12th
2021.
The Search
Amadeus Emanon had brought his parish priest Rev. Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds to brunch with him after the church service.
Renfield greeted Father Bury Saint Edmunds, “How’s it going, Father?”.
“Fine, thank you, Mr. Renfield,” Father Bury Saint Edmunds answered the British MP.
“So how’s everything on the ecclesiastical front?” Renfield inquired.
“Well, early last week Pope Francis made a peculiar statement,” the priest replied, “He said salvation and redemption aren’t granted to people individually but only collectively as members of a group.”
“Sounds like Communism to me,” Renfield remarked.
“It does to me as well,” the priest agreed.
. . .
And at their brunch the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set and the vampire Lord Tweedsmuir were likewise discussing Communism with relation to Bill Gates and the CCP (Chinese Communist Party).
“So I hear after 27 years of marriage Bill Gates is finally divorcing his wife Melinda,” Lord Tweedsmuir sipped his whiskey, “Their divorce being announced on Twitter.”
“Yes, Bill Gates must have recently got the proper optical prescription for his glasses and after putting them on, he finally noticed that Melinda looks like a man in drag,” Set added soda to his own glass of whiskey, “so the marriage is now over.”
“So the courts will now decide who gets which half of the world between them?” Tweedsmuir helped himself to a sandwich.
“Undoubtedly,” Set nodded.
“You said to me over the phone earlier that the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit has uncovered information about Bill Gates, Communism and the CCP?” Lord Tweedsmuir put down his glass of whiskey.
“Yes, Bill Gates has visited the People’s Republic of China more than a dozen times since his retirement from Microsoft in 2008,” Set pointed out.
“Maybe he has a Chinese mistress?” Lord Tweedsmuir suggested.
“It turns out he does,” Set answered, “a Miss Shelly Wang. Who served as his translator on his many visits to China. Interestingly Bill took Melinda along on his trips to Africa but not his trips to China. There are rumours that Shelly Wang gave birth to Bill Gates’ child. Another reason Bill and Melinda may have split up.”
“That would definitely do it all right,” Lord Tweedsmuir nodded.
“Anyways Gates has made several interesting statements during his visits to China,” Set went on, “One of them was “Only socialism can save the climate”. And by socialism, I don’t think he meant old time Scandinavian social democracy.”
“But rather Marxist-Leninist socialism of the CCP variety?” Tweedsmuir raised an eyebrow.
“Exactly,” Set nodded, “Then he added, “Capitalism cannot save the planet.” In that respect he sounds like an old time Marxist-Leninist.”
“Or Pope Francis,” Tweedsmuir commented.
“Exactly,” Set agreed, “He has also said “Paranoia about China is crazy”. Yes, no need to be paranoid about a country that spies on its own citizens. Gates is one capitalist billionaire who seems to be quite enamoured with the Chinese Communist system. In the same way that billionaire Armand Hammer the CEO of Occidental Petroleum used to be quite enamoured with the Soviet system of the old Soviet Union. Armand Hammer used to appear on American TV talk shows such as The Merv Griffin Show back in the 1970s and ’80s and tell audiences what a wonderful and kind chap Lenin was. Now Gates is doing the same thing in singing the praises of the People’s Republic of China.”
“A Communist billionaire,” Tweedsmuir shook his head, “I really didn’t think there could be such a thing.”
Set went on, “The Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit has also discovered that in China’s national textbooks studied by all Chinese students, Bill Gates is referred to as “a Western person who is a Communist driver with Communist spirit”. So you’ve got the CCP calling Bill Gates a good Communist.”
“I take it the mainstream media in North America is unaware of what’s written about Bill Gates in Chinese national textbooks,” Tweedsmuir put down his empty glass.
“The mainstream media in North America have a hard time reading and comprehending English language textbooks so one can only imagine the titanically colossal struggle they’d face in reading Chinese language textbooks,” Set noted, “For they are far far longer than a CONFUCIUS SAY message in a Chinese restaurant fortune cookie.”
. . .
The Greek goddess Athena was checking out the books in the living room of Dracul Van Helsing’s apartment.
“Is there any particular book you’re looking for?” Dracul Van Helsing asked as he brought in the home delivery order from Lydo’s Chinese Food.
“Claudius’ History of the Etruscans,” Athena answered.
“You must have heard about my visit this past Friday to an English country garden adjacent to an English country manor’s library and living room,” Van Helsing smiled.
“I did,” Athena nodded, “And those creatures Napoleon sketched whose sketches the French Emperor put in the last pages of that book.”
“What about them?” Van Helsing asked.
“Where do you think Bill Gates got his ideas on what to put in his next vaccine?” Athena asked.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday May 9th 2021.
In An English Country Garden
Charlotte in an English country garden
“Miss Charlotte?” Dracul Van Helsing asked.
“I’m Charlotte Williams,” the woman smiled.
“The Emperor Napoleon is not with you?” Van Helsing inquired.
“He’s down at a village pub talking to a fellow named Renfield,” Charlotte answered.
“Trust Renfield to be up to speed on cosmic happenings,” Van Helsing had to admit.
“Come with me to the library,” Charlotte said.
“All right,” Van Helsing agreed.
In the library, Charlotte Williams handed Van Helsing a book Claudius’ History of The Etruscans.
“I thought this book was lost to history,” Van Helsing thumbed through it, “Let alone an English translation was available of it.”
“Napoleon had that book in his library in his house on the island of Saint Helena,” Charlotte walked into the country estate manor’s living room where there was a piano.
She sat down and played Bach’s Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring.
“I wonder how it got here,” Van Helsing sat down in a chair with the book and listened to Charlotte play.
“I don’t know,” Charlotte continued to play.
Van Helsing’s smart phone rang.
He answered it and talked briefly.
“Talk to you soon, Whitstable,” Van Helsing put his smart phone back in his pocket.
“Whitstable?” Charlotte looked at Van Helsing.
“A friend of mine,” the vampire hunter explained.
“When the Emperor Napoleon was talking to the Phoenix Woman Andrea Angelicus, he said there were sketches on the second last page of that book Claudius’ History of the Etruscans,” Charlotte explained, “Sketches that Napoleon himself drew of visitors he saw a few days before he died. Sketches that he put in the book after they left. Napoleon after talking with Andrea said he’d give the sketches to Whitstable.”
Van Helsing went to the second last page of the volume and removed some very old looking pieces of paper.
He took a look at them.
They were sketches of ET T-Rexes emerging from a UFO flying saucer shaped craft.
“Sinister looking things,” Van Helsing noted, “I imagine Whitstable will be grateful to receive the sketches. But whoever these beings are, they look like super nasty and super tough customers.”
“Someone can defeat them,” Charlotte continued to play Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday May 7th
2021.
Andrea Angelicus
Andrea Angelicus sitting in the back yard of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal West London Estate.
Dracul Van Helsing saw the vision as he entered the backyard gardens of the Set Manor Estates.
He had received a phone call last night from Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol.
There was apparently a woman travelling all across Europe not wearing a mask (much to the chagrin of Neo-Bolshevik Communist authorities and Neo-Fascist authorities everywhere).
She would appear and then vanish (literally).
She’d show up in various countries with no record of her having passed border patrols.
Cardinal Gianfranco Ravasi the President of the Pontifical Council For Culture wondered if the woman had been vaccinated.
He only wondered for a moment and then returned to his present study of wondering whether the woman with the rodent tail who appeared in David Bowie’s last music video Lazarus was a Jungian collective unconscious predictive archetype of what the women in the post-Covid new reality will look like.
Ravasi had been influenced by both David Bowie and Aleister Crowley in his personal thought and philosophy.
That’s why his Pontifical Council For Culture was one of the sponsors of the Mind, Soul and Body Virtual Health Conference going on at the Vatican this week where such non-luminaries as Dr. Anthony Fauci (who might best be described as the Coronavirus on steroids) and Chelsea Clinton (the Church of Satan member and daughter of a disgraced former U.S. President and a warmongering former U.S. Secretary of State) were among the leading dignitaries and speakers at the Conference.
Whitstable said that the talk among gypsies throughout Europe (with whom Whitstable kept in constant contact) was that this Andrea Angelicus was known to them as the Phoenix Woman.
Saying there are legends of her having been born from the ashes of a Phoenix.
Anyhow Whitstable was wanting to make contact with the Phoenix Woman and one of his gypsy informants said that she would meet with a friend of Whitstable but not Whitstable personally.
She was wanting no contact with representatives of international organizations.
Whitstable had phoned his friend Van Helsing and Van Helsing had agreed to meet her.
“Andrea Angelicus I presume?” Van Helsing addressed the woman.
The woman in the elegant white gown turned and looked at Van Helsing and smiled, “I am. You are Van Helsing I presume?”.
“I am,” the vampire hunter nodded, “Dracul Van Helsing.”
“This is a very beautiful piece of luminous purple, white and blue crystals that Mr. Set has on this table,” Andrea Angelicus pointed.
“It is,” Van Helsing agreed, “From those days in the late 1980s when he was going through his Shirley MacLaine, J.Z. Knight and Ramtha phase. A phase that mercifully did not last long. It ended after his sister and sister-in-law the Paris based Egyptian vampiress Isis quite literally dropped a ton of bricks on his head. Athelstan his butler and valet said that he had never seen a chimney and fireplace put to better use.”
“I would like you to accompany me to another garden,” Andrea Angelicus stood up.
“Another garden?” Van Helsing was curious.
“Yes, a drive in the country,” Andrea Angelicus smiled, “To an English country garden.”
“And what pray tell shall we find in that English country garden?” Van Helsing asked.
An English country garden where the sounds of La Marseillaise could be heard playing on the estate manor piano but not the sounds of Tchaikovsky’s War of 1812 Overture.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday May 6th
2021.
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