Osiris Views Vatican Christmas Tree and Nativity Scene
Osiris Views Vatican Christmas Tree and Nativity Scene
The Egyptian vampire Osiris had been invited by the Rome based spiritist medium Cassandra Sibylline to view the Vatican Christmas Tree and Nativity scene.
Osiris was worried that as a vampire, he might suffer intense pain viewing Christian symbols on the tree 🌲 and in the Nativity scene.
Osiris need not have worried.
For the decorations on the Vatican Christmas tree in Saint Peter’s Square this year were devoid of Christian religious symbols.
There were peace signs and yin/yang symbols but no angels, no depictions of the Magi and no images of Mary, Joseph or the Christ Child.
As for the Vatican Nativity scene, it did have Joseph, Mary, the Magi and the shepherds. It also had a naked man (who Cassandra Sibylline said looked “like the poster boy for the local Tony Curtis Spartacus Gym and Health Spa”) lying on the straw.
An ad for the Vatican Nativity scene was in fact rejected by Facebook saying “Your ad can’t include images that are sexually suggestive or provocative.”
Commented Osiris to Cassandra Sibylline, “I like this year’s Vatican Christmas tree and Nativity scene. It makes a vampire feel right at home.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday December 23rd
2017.
Lilith Takes The Crown
Lilith Takes The Crown
Lilith was being crowned Queen of the Universe at a ceremony in a chapel at the Vatican in Rome.
The cardinal doing the crowning was the Zeus and Apollo worshipping Cardinal JM (JM stood for his secret society moniker Judas Manasseh).
He was assisted in this by his secretary Father Oliver Thomas Wardenclyffe.
The ancient Babylonian vampiress was wearing a beautiful scarlet red evening dress as she was being crowned.
Also present at the ceremony was Nimrod a little green frog.
Nimrod was supposed to be in charge of carrying the flowers for the ceremony but, being a frog, he ate them instead.
As Nimrod was busy hiccoughing rose petals from his mouth, the demon Asmodeus was busy filling up the chapel with his cigarette smoke from his irritatingly bad cigarette smoking habit.
His demonic acquaintances tried to talk him into wearing a nicotine patch which he did but it didn’t seem to work for him.
Coughing on Asmodeus’ cigarette smoke was the grey wolf formerly known as Adolf (a grey wolf whose body had been possessed by the spirit of Adolf Hitler after it had been granted permission by Hades and Persephone to leave the Underworld and wander the Earth for awhile at the Germanic god Wotan’s request which he asked of the Greek chthonic deities through his emissary Thor).
Adolf hadn’t liked cigarette smoke in his previous life and didn’t think much of it in this one either.
But seeing as how he was no longer the Fuhrer of Germany, he could no longer order that Asmodeus be shot by firing squad.
Not that demons were prone to death by firing squad anyways.
When the ceremony was over, they walked outside to enjoy the sunset over Rome.
The grey wolf formerly known as Adolf then started howling that he had an idea on how to cause trouble for Russia.
Since no one in the party understood lupine, they ignored the grey wolf’s howling.
The psychic seer Cassandra Sibylline walked by and she could understand the lupine language.
She said, “The wolf is saying that if you want to destabilize Russia, then go to Hades and Persephone and request that the spirit of Grigori Rasputin be allowed to leave the Underworld and return to Russia for a while.”
A party strategist for the U.S. Democratic National Committee (DNC) walked by and thought that was an excellent suggestion.
He would report back to Hillary Clinton with that suggestion since she was still wanting revenge against Russia for costing her (in her opinion) the last U.S. Presidential election.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday August 22nd
2017.
Dracul Van Helsing and Cassandra Sibylline In Rome
Canadian vampire hunter and MI-6 Diablos Nocturna Division spy Dracul Van Helsing had received a lengthy email from his friend Peter Whitstable the man they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol.
According to Whitstable’s information and sources, the Norse wolf Fenrir had apparently thrown up the head of Hecate (the Greek goddess of witchcraft) on the Temple Mount.
The regurgitation of the witchly head had led to rioting and fighting between Jews and Palestinians on the Temple Mount.
When it was time for supper, both Jews and Palestinians went home leaving the Temple Mount vacant.
It was during this brief interlude of quiet that a Jesuit priest by the name of Father Mundum Contra Athanasius (who was one of Pope Francis’ leading theological advisers) found the head and took it back to Rome with him.
Peter Whitstable was now wondering what had happened to the head.
He suspected that one of Rome’s leading spiritist mediums Cassandra Sibylline (who served as psychic adviser to many of the Curia based Cardinals in Rome) might possibly know where the head of Hecate now was.
“I think you’d enjoy meeting Cassandra Sibylline,” Whitstable had told Van Helsing, “I want you to meet with her and use your Adonis like charm to get her to tell you where the head of Hecate is now located.”
Van Helsing looked at his watch.
This was the spot all right.
The ancient stairwell near the Fountain of Caligula.
And there she was.
Cassandra Sibylline in all her vestal virgin glory.
“So you want to know where the head of Hecate is now located, do you, Mr. Van Helsing?” She laughed, “I refuse to talk.”
“We have ways of making you talk,” Van Helsing quoted a Nazi villain from those old time movies.
He mounted Cassandra Sibylline on the steps right then and there and made wild passionate love to her.
A group of Japanese tourists on a tour bus just above them had a field day taking pictures of the event and posting them to Facebook and Instagram.
“All right, all right,” she gasped after she had orgasmed for the 1001st time, “the head of Hecate was given to Cardinal JM (the member of the College of Cardinals who worships the ancient Greek god Zeus). He placed the head behind the High Altar of Saint Peter’s Basilica.”
“Unholy abomination of desolation, Batman,” Dracul Van Helsing paraphrased Robin the Boy Wonder from the old 1960s TV series Batman.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday August 6th
2017.
A Jesuit Priest and His Spiritist Medium
Jesuit Father Antonio Spadaro SJ was Editor-In-Chief of the Vatican’s official newsmagazine La Civilta Cattolica.
Presbyterian pastor Rev. Marcelo Figueroa was Editor-In-Chief of L’ Osservatore Romano’s Argentinian edition.
Both men had recently written an article in La Civilta Cattolica attacking political alliances formed between Evangelical Christians and Traditional Catholics in the U.S.
For their hatchet job on this alliance, they consulted the spirits of the late Nazi Minister of Propaganda Joseph Goebbels and the late Stalinist NKVD Soviet secret police head Lavrentiy Beria.
The two ghosts of opposing political persuasions were channeled for the two clergymen by Rome’s leading spiritist seer Cassandra Sibylline.
Cassandra Sibylline- a spiritist medium adviser to one of the Vatican’s most influential Jesuits.
The article was met with mixed reviews.
Leftists everywhere loved the article.
Rightists not so much.
Now Father Spadaro and Rev. Figueroa were turning their attention to a British politician Renfield R. Renfield who was recently elected to Parliament.
Renfield was asked by a reporter for the Church Times whether he believed in God or the Devil.
Renfield said that being an atheist, he believed in neither.
But then he added that should these two supernatural beings actually exist, then Pope Francis was probably the biggest of all Satan’s useful idiots on Earth.
The comment was not met with a very favourable reaction by a certain high-ranking member of the Vatican hierarchy.
And this high-ranking official asked his two friends Father Spadaro and Rev. Figueroa to then do a hatchet job on Renfield R. Renfield.
So Father Spadaro and Rev. Figueroa were once again channeling the ghosts of Goebbels and Beria through spiritist seer Cassandra Sibylline for advice- this time on how to do an editorial hatchet job on Renfield R. Renfield.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday July 25th
2017.
Dracul Van Helsing 
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