Mermaid Miranda’s Revelation Part 2

May 20, 2017 at 3:42 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

“The reason,” Miranda the mermaid looked at Nathan the Controller of the Golem, “that the mermaid goddess Atargatis wants to destroy Israel is because of her daughter Semiramis. Semiramis has formed an alliance with the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith who, of course, has always wanted to destroy Israel and the Jews because she claims that the Babylonian Talmud maligned and libeled her good name.”

“Yes, Lilith once poisoned my Scotch whisky with polonium-210 while I was sitting in a London pub,” Nathan recalled, “it was Set Enterprises’ resident mad scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher who saved my life with an antidote to polonium-210 that he invented.”

“I heard about that, Nathan,” Miranda looked at him sympathetically.

“But what caused Semiramis to form an alliance with Lilith?” Nathan asked.

“Her first husband Nimrod returned to Earth a few years ago aboard a UFO with a bunch of ET grays,” Miranda explained, “and the ship crashed near Tuktoyaktuk, Canada north of the Arctic Circle. Nimrod’s body was recovered and taken to a secret lab near Washington DC. Lilith stole Nimrod’s body and brought him back to life. Only the magic kiss Lilith used to bring Nimrod back to life went awry and the princely ruler of ancient Babel was turned into a little green frog. He now hangs out between the breasts of Lilith in her low-cut evening dresses.”

“Sounds like Nimrod has become every teen-aged boy’s fantasy come true,” Nathan thought aloud to himself.

“Is it every human teen boy’s fantasy to be like Kermit the Frog?” Miranda looked quizzically at Nathan.

“Um… no,” Nathan shook his head. “so I take it that Semiramis has formed an alliance with Lilith since Nimrod has become (ahem!) so close to Lilith.”

“That is correct,” Miranda nodded.

“And Atargatis in turn has naturally joined in alliance with her daughter Semiramis who’s aligned with Lilith,” Nathan was beginning to see the light.

The morning sun peered through the aquarium lab’s windows.

Meanwhile in Saudi Arabia, U.S. President Donald Trump had arrived with First Lady Melania Trump.
Donald and Melania Trump
Donald: I didn’t see any mermaids down in the desert sands of Saudi Arabia.

Melania: That’s probably because they’re swimming in the ocean.

Over in London, vampire hunter and MI-6 operative Dracul Van Helsing had received a phone call from Peter Whitstable the Fox Mulder of Interpol.

“Dracul,” Whitstable began, “I’ve been doing some research on the famous 17th Century Jesuit scholar Father Athanasius Kircher. He apparently had in his possession some ancient Greek mechanism that was the equivalent of our analogue computers.It also served as an orrery to predict astronomical positions and eclipses. But according to the diary entry of Father Kircher’s I’ve come across, the mechanism could also be used to locate mermaids. Sadly the mechanism disappeared on the night of Father Kircher’s death.”

“You know what, Peter,” Dracul leafed through the pages of his ancestor Captain Dante Van Helsing’s journal, “I have an idea where that mechanism is now.”

“Where?” Whitstable asked.

“It’s now called the Antikythera Mechanism and it’s to be found in the National Archaeological Museum in Athens, Greece.” Van Helsing answered.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday May 20th
2017.

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Mermaid Miranda’s Revelation

May 19, 2017 at 4:21 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The mermaid who called herself Miranda had once again awakened in the salt water tank in the Israeli government aquatics laboratory in Tel Aviv.

The Controller of the Golem (a Mossad agent who went by that code name) came down to see her.

“Nice to see you awake, Miranda,” the Controller brought her roses wondering if a mermaid would like them.

She did.

She smelled them and smiled.

“Thank you, Nathan,” she said once again calling him by his first name known to few outside Mossad or the Israeli Prime Minister’s office.

“You’re welcome,” Nathan smiled at her.

Then she turned serious, “I landed on the beach at Tel Aviv to warn you and your people.”

“Warn us about what?” Nathan asked.

“The goddess Atargatis ancestress of all mermaids wants to destroy your nation,” Miranda looked grim.

Nathan knew his classical Near Eastern mythology.

Atargatis was a northern Syria goddess.

She was called Derketo by the Greeks and Dea Syriae by the Romans.

The goddess Atargatis fell in love with a mortal (a shepherd) and had a child by him- Semiramis.

One cruel day, Atargatis unintentionally killed her love and the father of her child.

Ashamed, she flung herself into a lake near Ashkelon and was turned into the form of a fish but the waters could not conceal her divine beauty.Thereafter she took the form of a mermaid- human above the waist, fish below.

Atargatis’ daughter Semiramis became a legendary Assyrian queen and was said to have been married to the biblical Nimrod (founder of Babel) and later Ninus (founder of the city of Nineveh).

A 19th Century Free Church of Scotland minister Alexander Hislop had several wet dreams about Semiramis inspiring him to label the Roman Catholic Church the Whore of Babylon and to write a book about the subject called The Two Babylons.

Nathan’s thoughts of his Ph.D Program in Classical Mythology at Cambridge University returned to the present.

“Why,” Nathan asked Miranda, “does the mermaid goddess Atargatis want to destroy Israel?”.

. . .

U.S. President Donald Trump was flying en route to Saudi Arabia when he was handed an NSA report that certain mermaids were plotting to destroy Israel.

Trump was angry when he read the report.

“How,” Trump blew both his top and his toupee, “am I supposed to tweet about this? Especially after I just called former FBI director James Comey a real nut job? And especially in lieu of the fact that polls indicate that some Americans think I’m off my rocker myself?”.

. . .

Dracul Van Helsing was reading the journal of one of his 17th Century ancestors Captain Dante Van Helsing.

The journal had been found floating in a wooden chest on the Aegian Sea after his ancestor’s ship The Virgil went down on his final voyage.

The last entry said that Dante had been turned on by the sight of sirens singing on a rock.

When he neared the rock, a mermaid who called herself Thessalonike of Macedon appeared.

Dracul knew that according to history, Thessalonike of Macedon was the half-sister of Alexander the Great.

According to legend, Alexander had found the Fountain of Immortality and had filled a flask of water from it.

He washed his sister’s hair with the flask.

When Alexander died, his grief-stricken sister threw herself into the sea.

Instead of drowning, she became an immortal mermaid.

When she encountered sailors, she always asked them the same question, “Is Alexander the king alive?”.

The correct answer in her opinion would be, “He lives and reigns and conquers the world.”

If given this answer, she would allow the crew and their ship to sail safely away in calm seas.

Any other answer would send her into a rage and she’d cause the waves to send the ship and every sailor on board to the bottom.

The journal entry ended with Dante saying that Thessalonike had just appeared.

Obviously Dante’s answer of Thessalonike’s question was not to her liking.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday May 19th
2017.

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The Mermaid and The Mossad Agent

May 14, 2017 at 3:50 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Vampire novel) (, , , )

The Mossad agent they called the Controller of the Golem received a phone call in his Jerusalem office.

A mermaid had been found stranded on the beaches of Tel Aviv.

The mermaid was now recuperating in an Israeli government aquatics laboratory.

The Controller and those in the know in the Israeli government knew there were such things as mermaids.

In fact, U.S. President George W. Bush had ordered a secret special commando raid on the city of Mosul early on in the 2003 U.S. invasion of Iraq in order to grab a rare copy of the Babylonian Talmud from a Mosul museum.

This particular copy of the Babylonian Talmud was the only one in existence where the existence of mermaids was specifically mentioned and acknowledged.

So the Controller wasn’t surprised by the mermaid’s existence.

He did know that landing on a public beach was a rare thing for a mermaid to do.

The Controller went down to the aquatics laboratory to see the mermaid.

“Hello,” the Controller spoke to the mermaid sleeping in the salt water tank.

“Nathan,” the mermaid opened her eyes and looked at him.

The Controller was startled.

For not many knew the Mossad agent’s actual first name outside a select few.

“Yes, I’m Nathan,” the Controller of the Golem acknowledged, “and what is your name?”.

“Miranda,” answered the mermaid and she promptly fell asleep again.

“Miranda,” the Mossad agent repeated the name to himself as he looked at the sleeping mermaid, “O brave new world that has such people in it!”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday May 14th
2017.
Miranda The Mermaid

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Haiku About Mermaids

November 23, 2016 at 6:13 pm (Fantasy, Folklore, Mythology, Poetry) (, , , )

Haiku About Mermaids

Maidens of the sea
alluring and sensuous
beckon to unknown

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The Sailing Ship: A Poem

March 3, 2016 at 9:38 pm (Life, Nature, Poetry) (, , , , , , , , , )

The Sailing Ship: A Poem

Sail ahead to distant shores when yonder morning breaks
with wind at your back, listen to the cry that the screeching seagull makes
and sail on into waters of deep crystal blue
venture forth to destinations new
It is a time when the world is wide
so beckon to the surging tide

The mast is your guide
to horizons wide
white sails against skies of blue
they’re your towers- the world to view
and take the brunt of gray skies and stormy seas too

Poseidon’s realm stretches most of the globe
the sites to be seen- what tales to be told
Dolphins and Krakens, mermaids and sirens
aquatic femme fatales- they be a bitin’
Inviting you to Davy Jones’ locker- grave of missing Titan

This is the age of true adventure
where shark makes of mate’s leg a gaping denture
Whales spout
fish about
The salt sprays against your face
calm waters reflect an amazing grace

Today planes fly higher than eagles
Subs go lower than deep diving seagulls
Realms of pavement stretch from coast to coast
And space rockets soar high- making the air burnt toast

Speed here, speed there
instant speed everywhere
It should feel dizzy in this speeding vortex
but it moves so fast, we don’t even flex

Tall ships now exist only in books
or big toys built by would-be Captain Cooks
The seas are no longer the wild frontier
of siren call and mermaid tear
they are but memories of yesteryear

-A poem written by Christopher
Thursday March 3rd 2016.

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Flashback To The End of The World- Dec. 21st 2012

September 9, 2014 at 4:04 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Flashback To The End of The World- Dec. 21st 2012

The vampire novel chapter I wrote back on December 21st 2012 when something of cosmic significance was supposed to happen on Earth on that date according to Mayan, Aztec and Hopi Indian prophecies.

http://thevampiresamurai.blogspot.ca/2012/12/dec-21st-2012-tempest-or-much-ado-about.html?m=1

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Renfield Meets Isis In Paris

May 17, 2014 at 6:20 pm (Espionage, International Espionage, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield Meets Isis In Paris

Renfield R. Renfield was sitting in an exclusive Parisienne sidewalk cafe restaurant and drinking cafe au lait while reading about the upcoming Florence Italy wedding nuptials of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West.

“I wonder if they’ll invite me to the wedding,” Renfield mused aloud as he added more sugar to his cafe au lait.

“You know Kim Kardashian or Kanye West?” The French waiter asked Renfield.

“She and her sisters once gave me a blow job underneath a table in a McDonald’s in Manhattan,” Renfield replied as he sprayed some whipping cream on top of his cafe au lait.

The waiter left.

Renfield was to meet the Egyptian Vampiress Isis in this restaurant to discuss a business proposition.

Renfield who worked for the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian Vampire Set didn’t know whether he should be meeting his Boss’ archenemy (who was also his boss’ sister and sister-in-law) but when Isis offered to take him to an exclusive Parisienne restaurant where they clandestinely served mermaid sandwiches made from mermaids caught from the River Seine, Renfield immediately accepted.

The only thing Renfield loved more than a tuna fish sandwich was a mermaid sandwich made from freshly caught mermaids and he had read in the Mermaid Connoisseur’s Digest that the Mermaids from the River Seine were an exceptionally exquisite delicacy.

He had never tried them before.

He had tried Japanese mermaid sushi in Tokyo and Irish mermaid cooked in Guinness in the town of Galway in Ireland but he had never tried French mermaid (fresh from the River Seine) cooked in a delicate red Burgundy wine and covered with a finely laced mushroom gravy.

Renfield decided not to bring his co-worker Amadeus Emanon with him on this particular business trip as Amadeus would always become visibly upset and start crying whenever Renfield ate a mermaid sandwich.

He would always start sobbing, “Ariel. Poor little Ariel.”

In his opinion, Amadeus had seen the Walt Disney animated film The Little Mermaid once too many times.

“I’m here,” the Vampiress Isis announced as she sat down in a beautiful beige evening dress.

She’s quite a looker, Renfield had to admit to himself.

In fact it took every ounce of his will power to stop himself from masturbating on the spot.

“So,” Isis explained the matter of the UFO that had crashed a few nights ago near Mesa, Arizona and how a U.S. Border Patrol officer had been disintegrated by a laser death ray fired from an ET gray’s gun, “I want you to steal this ET gray’s laser death ray gun and give it to me.”

“For what purpose?” Renfield asked as he bit into his hot steaming red Burgundy and mushroom gravy covered mermaid sandwich.

“That I can’t reveal,” Isis answered as she raised one side of her dress revealing a shapely black silk nylon covered leg.

Renfield used his napkin to cover his erection.

“Well,” said Renfield, “I need you to swear by Atum-Ra that you won’t use this laser death ray against my boss Set or any friend, acquaintance or employee of my boss Set.”

Isis raised her right hand and said, “By Atum-Ra, I do so swear.”

Renfield accepted this for no ancient Egyptian vampire or Vampiress worth his or her salt would swear an oath to Atum-Ra in vain.

“Why me?” Renfield asked.

“Because while I hate to admit this with you being an employee of my enemy Set and all,” she leaned forward showing her amply endowed breasts, “but in my opinion you’re the best thief in the world.”

Renfield had to admit that he was.

In fact Renfield had to admit that he often thought that the dashing and debonair Sir Sean Connery should play him in a film about one of his numerous master thief exploits.

Isis agreed.

They cemented the deal with an act of tantric sex on the dining room table.

In another corner of the restaurant, French President Francois Hollande stared in fixed fascination.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday May 17th
2014.

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